The only job where you start at the top is digging a hole

2007-03-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

2007-03-20T09:01:00.000+08:00

you know i wrote this super long post on microsoft word that sunday but stupid blogger refuse to let me load it up. !@#^&^*

i really should start working on my lj template soon..

2007-03-03T07:50:00.000+08:00

like i've told many people, i don't like how AC puts the 3As and above kids on stage, cheering and screaming and crying with joy over their good results, while the rest of the cohort remains in the hall, filled with apprehension and fear for they have not known their results, but are sure that it's less than 3As. so while i was on stage, i didn't feel very happy whatso ever, not because i thought that i didn't do well enough (i didn't expect those grades) but because i just don't like it. for one, i'm on stage while my friends aren't. two, everyone's hugging and we all know who EVERYONE is. so i lingered around with eunice, peijun and amaria and was eager to get off the stage fast and be with the rest of the class.

ok, so i got 3As and 1B and b3 in GP. general paper was a disappointment but i think it was my essay that probably pulled me down. and chinese was expected. but many people were shocked coz i always get an A over the last two years. but it's a low A in the 70s region and for the As, an A for chinese prolly be 80plus, and hahaha, my paper 1 sucks. no way can i get over 80, so that was expected. hmm, econs and math were the surprising one i guess. tuition paid off i supposed.

but in a way, i felt like i don't deserve those grades compared to many classmates on stage and some who studied a lot harder than i did. i didn't finish studying for any of my subjects. oh well. results are now settled. time to think about what to do next. that's very stressful.

i hope all my friends are happy with their grades. and if they are upset, i hope they get over it soon. i'm not sure how to console you guys. but i'm sure that despite what grades, it's all in the past. it's time to think about what to do next and not brooding over them anymore. take care!

2007-02-17T08:26:00.000+08:00

work's gonna be hell later! argh.. 6h worth of students in 3h. i hope the chinese parents are kind enough to give the kids a break and GIVE ME A BREAK!! i think i'll be so stressed later with grumpy kids who wouldn't want to study after the half-day yesterday and screaming to go home.

horror!!!

wish me luck!

Finally back with an update

2007-02-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

i know i've been ditching this blog for like forever..

1. working life leaves you no personal life.. actually, it does, but i prefer hanging out with friends rather than cooping at home using the net. these days, i find myself using the net when i'm seriously bored! and my net usage revolves ard googling about products, movies, pictures..

2. blogger is giving me a big headache. whenever i update, there's this fear enveloping me that when i click 'publish', it would give me this error page and all my thoughts 'poofed' gone! and it leaves you the tingling annoyance and you just can't be bothered to write another decent post.

anyway, i got my first paycheck. nothing spectacular, but it makes me feel like now i can be less dependent on my parents and can actually shop using my own money. pocket money still equates parent's money.

hmm, i'm glad my friends have finally found a job. that makes us all working adults. one day, i gotta visit them at the cafe and AHEM!! discount please

i still haven't gotten my driving act together, whereas loads of my friends have passed their BTT, gotten their PDL and are actually driving a REAL car!!! and i'm like i can't be bothered. i never like being in the driver seat, coz i dun like to be responsible of my passengers' lives. plus, i will not get a car even if i get my licence, so zero incentive to drive. but friends, who are getting their licence in a few months time, dun forget to ask me to be your passenger. i'm more than willing to! haha, even if that means putting my life on the risk :P. i like to be driven around, not driving people around. HEH

alrightey.. back to baking for the festive season. YUM!!!

2007-01-21T12:46:00.001+08:00

being a non-regular clubber, i found that clubbing can be fun, without being slutty and simply chilling out with a couple of friends, getting high yet not wasted. drinking yet not getting high, dancing yet not dirty-dance (although bonnie might beg to differ). well, i saw the other side of bonnie yesterday (effects of what alcohol can do to someone ;))and as i read her blog, i honestly didn't know that she thought so much abt it. it's interesting reading abt another person's POV. well, i did get high but maybe not as high as my two other friends, and it makes me wonder what alcohol can actually do to me if i actually drunk more. maybe you would see a different seeyun as well if i had drunk another two cups.

anyway, we got tix to some SMU sch-reopen bash with a uniform theme. being the usual me, i thought it would be really fun if we dressed in school U instead of going in regular clubbing clothes which alot did, making us feel a bit left out, wondering if we came to the right party and coming out with a fabulous back-up plan of eating a big cake along the road side. but i personally like the outfit a lot. it's jappy, with your own little twist in it. for me, i guess i like my tie the best. ho ho. of course. i chose it for my dad. and apparently bonnie heard someone shouting out of the car that our outfits are sweet or sth

yup, but the party was pretty good actually. maybe i might reconsider going to SMU. i dunno!!! one of the things that was running through my mind was actually

SMU? NUS? SMU? NUS? SMU? NUS? and i just told my mum that i might go to NUS instead. ha, i dunno. AND it's not the party that made me fickle AGAIN. it's the whole ok, uni party link uni link course link A levels link SCHOOL. ARGH! dun like thinking abt it! i actually want to get my results so that i could at least see my future. i'm like how uncertain now, not knowing how badly i have done. i mean it's better to be pessimistic rather than pinning so much hopes and these come crashing down. i think i'll just be more depressed like to the pits.

Happy birthday bonnie

2007-01-15T15:08:00.000+08:00

yesterday we had hella of fun. went over to bonnie's place to celebrate her bday early. i'm glad she liked what we gave her. i thought it was really personal and relevant to the problems we are facing now. we gave her this scrapbook and included a modern fairy tale in it. some of us were out of love, some had too many and some just love the unreachable, which equates to bad love life. but the whole story was damn sensual lar..you keep thinking other ways when you read it, or is it just me? and bonnie said sth damn jinxed yesterday and i really thought i told her that. it was quite freaky. i'm like "shit how the hell did you know that?" and i said sth wrong yesterday which kinda revealed my inner thoughts.. AHEM.. but you cant exactly blame me.. i'm the one who say things like "but he only look hot shirtless" with regards to jo's comments on what people would think of me when they see a shirtless man on my phone display pic. I WOULD LIKE TO ADD that there's no longer him in the display. it's a very decent one now. :P

yesterday i got a taste of how the 5 of us had totally different tastes. i cannot believe xinnie doesnt like chocolates. HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE CHOCOLATES?? it's like they have been losing so much in their lives. but people say that to me too when i don't eat beef.. as much as possible i try to avoid it unless it's so processed that you don't even know it's beef. but even ikea meatballs have a cow-y smell to it. and we have moniza who's super picky. HA, so we actually wanted to buy a tub of ice-cream frm island creamery and share (which is so much cheaper) and in the end, we ended up getting our own scoops. nutella is yummy.. just that i cannot finish it coz it's too sweet (and jo thinks it's not nutty enough or sweet enough). but island creamery have the weirdest concoctions ever. who ever eat pulu hitam ice-cream?!? or apple pie ice-cream. i like my ice-cream classic or a little special but not digressing so much frm traditional versions.

after much struggle finishing our ice-cream (except for jo, who will always have a special space in her stomach for ice-cream), we literally went through mud and rain to get booze. but gin generally taste bad and despite people insisting they wanna get drunk, we stopped after the first cup. and had loads of chips though. lays salt and vinegar.. i heart many many.. it's officially my favourite flavour. this is only my 2nd time eating it coz most people don't like it and they don't come in small packages, so i'm glad xinnie and jo like it.

we wanted to have a harry potter marathon. thank god we didn't. i stopped watching harry potter after the first movie coz i find it too boring. trainspotting is good though. ah well.. wicked.. makes you totally turns off drugs. ha.

glad bonnie like the present

sorry this entry came so late coz of screwed up blogger

Jobless No More

2007-01-08T19:25:00.000+08:00

HA, i might be able to spend pretty soon. got a job at kumon marking cum teaching assistant. and it's a job that i wouldn't lose my life coz i've got wed and fri free. so i can still go out on fridays. hahaha.. i like the working hours.. only have to wake up early on mon, thu and sat, and it's only 3 stops down. i'm happy! hope all works well actually.

moni and i only heads one direction in finding a job: to be able to really shop and not window shop. window shop is super painful when you see so many nice shoes, bags and clothes on display. >___<

Jobs

2007-01-06T15:47:00.000+08:00

I am feeling a bit inferior when i read my friends' blogs and some of them have already started work and i'm still lazing around. actually, i went for an interview today at kumon and i really want to work there coz i like the hours despite charging only little. i'm less concerned with the money. i mean, it's not like i've a family to feed. i'm just learning enough for shopping and food. dun even think i'll have much to save. but it's working with kids, so that's a bonus. and i'm trying to see if my dad's friend's sons want tuition. i could earn extra keep in that way. i'm trying to find jobs but everything seem so uncertain. i am actually looking forward to next week when i'll then know my interview results. hope all turn out good!

next week would be a packed week. can't wait. A2 gathering at eunice's place. i missed her house. i remembered before Os, i would always go to her place to study after school, then wait for my dad to pick me up at 6. her mum is a great cook. yum yum, precisely why i can't wait. i miss her shepherd's pie!

then we have bonnie's bday! that's sth to look forward to as well..

oh, i watched death note yesterday. just like any sequel, i thought the first was a bit better and more intense. it depends on how you see it. bonnie felt that it was good precisely coz she was confused and was thinking through the whole movie. for me, i was also a bit confused but as things got enlightened towards the ending, it was actually a pretty good show. trust the japs to come out with such anime. i like L character a lot in this movie. it's less mysterious, more humourous but we still can't figure out what he was thinking. Light became a true devil. before he killed his gf in death note 1, i thought he was actually doing the world some justice, and i actually applauded his actions, but after he plotted his gf's death, i'm like "what a bastard!!!" but you cannot hate him as well, coz he did kill criminals. but the ending was sad, pretty un-anime.

Feelings of Nostalgia

2007-01-05T14:08:00.000+08:00

As i walked the familar path back to AC on wednesday, it was familar yet foreign. Walking in at 11 in t-shirt and shorts weaving past the security guards who did not say a thing would not have been possible a year ago. yet, as i walked in, the familiar faces i see everyday in school. the teachers. and the first person i saw was eunice. you feel so at home again. i only stayed for the mass rally and i thought (personally) it was disappointing. the ogls were too slow in heeding instructions, so it pushed everything back. but it was only the second day. the ogls need time to familarize themselves with those cheers, to get into the rah-rah mood and the new kids need time to absorb the AC spirit. i would say that orientation is the only time you see a cohort united as one. the bond in the new students would be forged during orientation. i liked my ogl orientation better than my own orientation. that was the time you see seeyun in a totally different light. i've no idea why i could become so super rah-rah, leading in cheers, running around. and yes. love practicing those dance steps. orientation makes seeyun do things she will never do again. but it was definitely an experience i will never forget.

i posted a post after orientation last year not knowing what my members think of me. but as i look back, although i might not have made a difference to someone else's life, i did change mine. honestly i never wanted to be an ogl. it was the pestering of bonnie and andre and saying how i should not waste my two dollar deposit to just go for the interview. and in the end, i ended up being the only one who got in, coz bonnie coldfeet during the interview and purposely do badly :P and it was sad i did not bond with my og partner that much. partly coz i did not attend og camp and i think it's personality issues? but orientation was definitely fun! i remembered allowing my kids to not play too many muddy games coz i didn't wanna get down dirty as well. LOL.

2007-01-04T08:20:00.000+08:00

new layout. nice?

ok i decided to un-lock my blog. i realized i have nothing to hide and i'm not politically controversial or incorrect, so i'm actually safe in public's eyes.

not trying to be egoistic in any manner, but i do think that i have my own principles and values when it comes to dealing with my own life. LOL! i'm proud to say i do not follow fads and fashion. i do know what colours and patterns are in, but i wouldn't have to definitely buy it especially when i know this fad is not going to last. like the bubble skirt, i see way too many kids in town wearing it. same design, different colour. i hate wearing the same stuff as people. i seriously hate it. once i saw this girl wearing the same belt as me, i almost flipped :P. ha, that's why i like to shop in little shops everyone. i don't really care that you must buy clothes that are branded. as long as they are decently priced, i would get it. i like my tops around 20-30 bucks. i call it good buy. i'm really into dresses. HA! bonnie we have not get our baby doll dresses :) leggings are really fashionable these days but i refused to get it. i'm glad i have friends who do not follow the crowd either. i cannot imagine myself seeing jo wearing leggings. EWWW. or my mg friends wearing leggings double EWWW (maybe debo :P why are we always so mean to her?? i cannot imagine her cooking on wed. :S)

i had my first job interview yesterday. but i was confused. i thought it was a office that called me up, but it was actually some kind of job agency. so she was interviewing me for some jobs that she could match me. so deceiving. i actually thought i might end up with a job. damn! oh, anyone needs tuitioning? or have people who need tuition? i can give tuition! chinese, english, social studies, history, human geog, mathematics. all primary and secondary school level. tell me k! i just read galye's blog and she was giving tuition as well. me Vs her. ok, forget it. haha

1st post of 2007

2007-01-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

happy new year peeps! not many people read my blog these days but i guess that's the whole point.

i had my first stress-panic attack of 2007 last night. for a moment, i thought i could end everything once and for all. but i was soft-hearted again and oh well, i guess i gotta wait AGAIN! bonnie was being super forceful, which is good. i felt a tremendous boost after talking to her and hearing her reasoning. i could see her point of view, but to string sentences in your brain is super easy, to actualize them is hard. because i was thinking of different responses that i would get. oh well, i don't like thinking about that. but i figured i had made it super duper obvious

ooh, most of my friends are back in singapore. can't wait to meet up. we need to do things that are cheap. we should be super cheapo. get a meal at somewhere and chill out for the whole afternoon. there's so much catching up to do, esp with my mg peeps. i'm thinking essential brew. i love that place though it's a bit pricey. we can always only buy drinks there (and eat somewhere). i know a lot of us are getting super duper awfully broke. ahem, you know who i am referring to. :P

i am looking forward to my sis starting school at AC tmr. it's gonna be quite cool. i might drop by for a while to the general office to get my award and maybe i would visit my juniors or eat in the canteen. anyone wanna join me?

i'm seriously a shopoholic. i bought 3 pairs of shoes. but they are on offer. only 25 dollars. ha, so i just kept buying. best is they got my size. ok, it's actually not that hard, coz not a lot of people fit into size 5. oh and i got my first dress for CNY. red is my colour. i got a very red dress. fits the festival totally. i am happy today. haha. great shopping. wanna head down to far east next week or later this week. haven't been there since forever

Yes.. to round up the year

2006-12-30T12:24:00.000+08:00

i'm actually apprehensive of the new year. this year, you know you gotta face the As, you can't shun away from it, your path's been designated. but 2007 will be a year filled with choices and surprises. next year will come and i got to face it like bam! this year is sheltered but 2007 will be a big step towards adulthood. people will be finding jobs, guys getting into NS, starting out tertiary education. ARGH!! it's stressful thinking about this.

i only started thinking abt working recently after i've seriously run down on my savings. i can never shop with bonnie. ha, we gush over the same thing and made it a point to get it. and we like shopping at the same places. we should only shop again together when we got cash yeah? off topic, but we are huge fans of FOS! :)

now i'm rambling

i realized a lot of mistakes were made in early half of 2006 but things got straightened out as the year passes. it's time like this that you regretted what you have done and wished that you haven't done things in that fashion. these problems exploded simply because i was hestitant and couldn't make up my mind. but now that i have, let's wish that things really will get sorted out. i really don't want it to haunt me anymore, especially in 2007, where i want a new beginning.

i also realized the vulnerability of relationships and understood the mechanics of it. even if you have been together with someone for long, it doesn't mean that you can take someone for granted or be so comfortable that it's no more a relationship of a partner but simply a family member. yup, so one of my resolutions for 2007 was to treasure everyone around me. just don't be too complacent.

alritey to all who's reading my blog, have fun in the last few hours of 06 and be hopeful and optimistic towards the new year! :)

Christmas post

2006-12-26T09:31:00.001+08:00

disclaimer: i like the google version! haha. this makes me very the happy. i heart google many many.

actually my christmas wasn't all so bad after all. except for christmas eve. HAHA. the reason why i locked my blog previously was also because i wanted to throw a bitch tantrum, but i got more fed-up with blogdrive that i forgot about it. let's not talk about it coz a lot of people have heard about it. but yesterday when i heard something, i felt quite bad. actually it wasn't my fault, but oh well, the hint should be obvious enough.

but sat was pretty good. mg friends are really great friends. MG bonds everyone together. i hung out with my cousin's mg friends and 2 german friends and we had a pretty good time. i could chat with them, find out about unis in singapore, crapping abt ac teachers. it was cozily nice. and baileys with caramel is so so so so good!! it's like ice-cream. oh and my banana cake was a success! haha, seeyun can really bake. JO, let's bake together soon!!! i think i might like baking soon. domestic housewife in the making.

yeah and yesterday i was having mother-kid bonding. went to a sale in the city and got a couple of office wear just in case i got a job. you never know man. stay optimistic. i had applied with moe to do reliefing. hope all goes well. *cross fingers*. i would so rather do that than office work man. yup, and we went to J8. i finally got to shop J8.. i know i'm damn slow.. haha, i like those shops there maybe also of the sales.

headed down to my aunt's place. we had fondue. actually i had more on saturday, but fondue is fun. someone should get me a fondue set. it's really cheap apparently. it's the fountain that is super ex. hmm, then we went for another mg gathering. the world is really small. rachel kok's my cousin's friend's mum's friend's kid. complicated. yar, but i saw her and she didn't seem to recognize me. so i didn't go out to invite her for poker. i think i can play poker now!
merry christmas and don't dread the new year ahead..

let's guess what my next post will be..

duhhhh

reflections.. (predictable)

se7en is Effing HOT

2006-12-24T08:37:00.000+08:00

i just gotta post this. this totally makes my christmas! haha

(bonnie, i know you will hella love this as way)

*gushing teenage girls*

my sis is such a na-na :(

2006-12-23T13:29:00.000+08:00

haha, my sis is such a meanie. i was trying to bake banana cake for the first time and she's been baking it forever, but she keeps criticizing me coz she's such a pro. CHHHH.. and she refused to help me with the oven. GRRRR..

let's hope it turns out all fine.

-edit-

it should taste fine! haha, let my cousin's friends taste it!

seeyun can bake! :)

Giving Blogspot A second chance

2006-12-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

well well, i decided that i should just give it a 2nd chance, cause i can't seem to lock my blog on blogdrive. and i felt that i need to have my little corner of privacy. yes, it's not easy to find my blog but it's still possible when you google it. so there you go. i got a stupid password again. haha

Oh, like i told bonnie couple of days ago, i know who won survivor. if you don't want to know, stop reading my post NOW!!!

YUL WON!!!!!!!!! hahahaha.
the asian in me feel very happy for him, especially when the last three are all minorities in the states. 2 asians and 1 hispanic (ozzy). but i cannot get past the fact that ozzy was in some playboy video. i didn't watch it (i refused to) but i saw pics and it was disturbing. from then on, i cannot look at him in the same way. but he's definitely up there in strength. practically all the individual immunities were won by him, which was probably why despite being a most dangerous threat, he managed to make it into top 3. but survivor's not just strength and the jury are not all himbos or bimbos. it's indeed darwinistic in nature but there's an extra element to it. and if we see who were those who voted for yul and who voted for ozzy, ozzy practically got those childish/immature votes while yul really played the game well for him to get voted.

anyway, he's really damn good, especially after the mutiny and even candice and adam saw it in him despite calling him a puppet master. he's really good player and he's very lucky throughout. getting the immunity idol so early in the game and manipulating his way throughout. and it's really good he got becky, fellow korean, as his ally, making his job much easier. after mutiny, the four in aitu were so close and reflected in how they rose to be the last 4 in survivor.

ahhh, i like this survivor season but i only managed to watched clips on cbs. and channel 5 takes super long!! i can't believe there are only showing mutiny (i think) tonight. i am looking forward to the next season as well. apparently the tribe is divided into two: one in luxury and one in exile. should be interesting

2006-08-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

my cousin is getting married.. off to malaysia. haha, i just have to come to blog about this. she's so secretive. i don't know she has a boyfriend, let alone fiance. tsk tsk..

haha, zh says i should turn this into a gossip blog cos i tend to read blogs and friendster for the juiciest gossip. oh well, i shan't spoil my reputation of being ignorant

the worst for my exams is over. fucking history and chinese one after the other.. i was writing for 9 hours. 3 hours on monday afternoon and 6 hours today. bless seeyun's fingers. but now i'm just left with math paper 2 and econs paper 1 and 2. can't wait.. woohoo..

by the time jo reads this, it might be her birthday already! happy birthday jo! we are gonna date on sat, yeah? haha.. with bonnie. threesome..

omg.. i think i'm going crazy!

41th birthday!

2006-08-09T19:00:00.000+08:00

The Singaporean in me! National day sparked a lot of random thoughts. I am actually glad that UMNO and the anti-Chinese riots got so overboard that LKY and Tunku Adbul Rahman got to declare separation of Singapore and Singapore is officially independent on 9 Aug 1965. YES! It is 1965! I know my history. We even watched this whole episode/talk show about LKY declaring separation and it is probably the one time you see him cry in public. You know LKY English name is Harry. Haha, no wonder he does not use it after he went into politics. He will just be a laughingstock. But no matter how much I might say about him being a communist and stuff, but oh well, he brought Singapore to where we are today. People should just wikipedia lee kuan yew one day. I am doing it now. I just know how to waste time. I cannot imagine me being called a Malaysian or still living in the kampong. I need my internet and technology!! My dad never fails to miss the national day parade which I find so boring. How can anyone (in the past) queues up at places they believe was going to distribute the tickets for nights. Like how crazy fans camp outside shopping centres just so to see their fans. I can never do that. I hate to wait. I am impatient!

My cousin's birthday is coming soon. Actually two cousins. I do not know what to get them. It will probably be an ultra belated birthday present. Haha, and jo's birthday is also coming soon. Aww.. too bad it's during the prelims. Haha

2006-08-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

YES! I know I need to update. Haha. I’ve been busy okay. Actually I was just lazy since blogger always died on me. Anyhow, school’s ok (or because there’s barely school) everyone’s ponning like crazy. Talking about ponners, we played a trick on the ponners during hist lecture cos ngoei went berserk. We called the ponners up, tell them that ngoei is really angry with them, with ngoei screaming his head off in the background. They were all on speakers and mikes so the whole lecture group could hear them. Everyone was like shhhhhh.. nat bala is such a smartie. First she goes “mr ngoei.. chill” then she was like “it’s another of your comedy rite?” then we tried it on aaron who actually sound a bit scared BUT the guy who called him did such a bad job. And the rest, they didn’t pick up their phone. So that was quite a break from history and quite a nice 40-min chill-out.

Anyway, it’s so horrible to ask us to write our own testimonials. It’s just so wrong and bizarre. How can I praise myself and inject great characteristics in myself. And I need so much help from the thesaurus. “exhibit” “injected” “showed” “enthusiasm” “respect” all the helping words. GRRR.. but I think it’d turn out quite cool. Cos it’s gonna be really detailed about the things you have done and only you can decide for yourself what you have learnt from the things you do. As well as the personal statement, only you know yourself best. Happy writing to those who are not done with it!! :)

I got tagged

2006-07-23T08:51:00.000+08:00

i got tagged by jo

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1. when i eat something i like, i can see the same thing everyday for the next few weeks till i get sick of it. i eat in cycles (much to the annoyance of jo)

2. i don't like pink. i just happen to fancy pink stuff. there's a difference

3. i admit i whine way too much, unknowningly

4. i tend to buy a lot of bags, earrings, shoes, instead of clothes. so i'm clothes-deprived

5. i think long as a guy has a great body, he's hot

6. i ogle over guys with big alluring eyes, but who i end up having a crush on is quite different

i don't want to tag back because i realize too little people have access to my blog and people who read my blog don't have a blog

i wanted to post this loong ago, but i can't think of 6 things, which jo says people thought about it within 5 mins

oh, today the unis came down to ac for a mass open house

i am very impressed by NTU presentation, mass comm. i might consider that together with a minor or another major in humans and arts
then smu has always been a choice
nus FASS would be my last choice

we started this whole stupid read the abbreviations thing. like SMU is not S-M-U but smu (read: s-moo) N-U-S (nus) and NTU (n-tu).
then MRT (mart)

we are high. seriously. so i started. i want to go to the B-u-s-s-t-o-p
and bonnie took a while to get it.

2006-07-22T20:05:00.000+08:00

blogger hates me. i hate blogger. we have a mutual relationship. damn it. it keeps dying on me

btw, today is my happy day. i feel so light now. no more interact after i sent my last email to beehoon. muahaha.

Bowling For Columbine

2006-07-16T11:26:00.000+08:00

i finally got down to watching michael moore's bowling for columbine. basically, it is about violence in the United States, in particular, shoot-outs, murders due to the ease of purchasing guns. there are less humour in this as compared to fahrenheit 911, just a couple of cute animation and i love the music in the documentary. it's dark humour. it touched on the columbine high school shootout whereby 2 guys shot over 10 students. i don't want to call it a massacre as someone in the documentary called it. while i think these kids were at fault, there should be triggering factor that cause this abnormal behavior. the media, cos they are so hung up with this slogan 'if it bleeds, it leads', or the rock-and-roll music, marilyn manson, or simply because you can purchase guns and bullets just a footstep out of your house.

but it was heartwarming to see how two boys who were injured in the shoot-out (one was paralysed waist-down, the other could barely stand and had bullets still embeded in him). together with moore, they managed to get kmart to stop selling bullets. it was seriously a damn big achievement

what was fustrating in the documentary was the NRA guy, Heston. after the columbine shoot-out, he went there for a pro-gun rally. after the flint incident (where a six-year old shot a six-year old), he went there again for another pro-gun rally. but i was skeptical about it cos they were too many cuts and paste, just like bush in fahrenheit so i went to look more into it

http://www.hardylaw.net/Truth_About_Bowling.html

but still it's undeniable that guns is a major problem in the states. at least 11000 murder cases are reported in a year as compared to 67 cases in Canada, which accessibility to guns are just about the same as the states. Americans are just paranoid over tiny things.. i believe, because of the media. blacks = criminals and all that shit.

moore went to canada and did this little survey, found out that most of the canadians don't lock their door. this canadian said " the americans

2006-07-13T20:20:00.000+08:00

i swear i have a thing against all williams. i swear. fucking hell. williams irritate the hell out of me. grrrrr.. i don't want to do anything regarding interact anymore. you are in charge. do your work, idiot!!!! he wears a mask and then behind the scene, he's frantic like hell and get nothing done. what a fake!

end of bitch fit.

what a mindless post. but i need to vent anger or i'll just explode and die!

Italy won World Cup

2006-07-11T20:18:00.000+08:00

so azzurri blue won. at first i was pretty happy cos i am not a french fan. but then again i never liked italy cos they are such dirty players. i was so disappointed in the aussie match when they are all out to take revenge on hiddink for causing their early exit in skorea in 2002. but cannovaro and toni are hot.

you never knew why zidane was so emotional at that point of time. then as the day passes and more reports were made and i got to know this french better, i admire him. i'm pretty sure he got provoked or else why would he lose his cool when the match is almost over? do you know he's a muslim. i never knew that. ok. that's random. but now i can't stand the italians. stupid racist people. but i still love my pasta. ah well, i'm so contradicting.

something i concluded about world cup is that most footballers have a humble past and it's amazing how they grew up and be world stars. they are all family man. most, other than those who have millions of flings.

_______________________________________________________
anyway, ENOUGH of football. it will be a long time till i touch this topic again. think south africa 2010?

my my, johnny depp is my current crush. he's such a cool man. i rewatched pirates and woo-hoo, he's such a talented actor. i love him in charlie and the chocolate factory. he has the ability to be different in every role, unlike orlando bloom. sigh. he and keira knightley are such a match, a girly guy and a manly woman. i had an overdose of her this week, watchin (dunno number how many times) bend it like beckham. i want to watch pirates 2!!!!!

i want to watch 4:30!

i want to watch thank you for smoking!

so many wants, but with scarce resources. ha, economics at work here. damn it.

2006-07-07T14:40:00.000+08:00

portugal lost. muahaha. i'm so happy. c.ronaldo is the biggest asshole on the field

18 year old girls have raging hormones in us. we can be one hell of a horny pig. the things we talked during the past few days have been really R-rated. must be how our lives have been saturated with hot guys (world cup) and the need to release the lust for them, we need to talk about them. i really wanted to post pics of these hotties, but my cousin thinks that i should stop posting pictures. i want to post this really good story i read online. i told the story to some of my friends but it's really different when you read it and when i narrate it. the whole language and tone is different. but it's really long.

i post it in the next post

ten things i hate about you

2006-07-04T17:32:00.000+08:00

i was watching ten things i hate about you. yes i know it's a darn old show and i remembered watching it really really looong ago, cos my dad was watching with me and he was like "this is so familiar". heath ledger is hot in there but i think he's much better in brokeback. i don't like guys with long hair. but he was really cool and young in the movie.

we had this conversation in class during recess about world cup. yes, world cup, you know 22 boys running after a ball, and all the tackling, free kicks, off-sides. i'm just writing what i understand about football or soccer if you like. anyway, yes we are talking about footballERS. haha. not that the ball makes no sense to us, i insist they do. I WATCH FOOTBALL AND I UNDERSTAND THE BLOODY GAME, OKAY. although i am a girl and i prefer the ogling at guys part about football. moniza has this huge fetish with german boys. my my! she thinks klose and ballack is hot. i think they prolly just have a hot body. but we both think that torres is really cute, but the pictures she cut out of him was bad. the ultra man post, i thought that was really dorky. kaka's my new hottie, but argh.. he's married. damn it.

i think beckham is hot, just that he is not a good player. i was so sad when i saw pictures of him crying and his kids were crying. i cannot stand it when a kid cries. i feel so sorry for brooklyn. but i think victoria loves to have a girl way too much. why do romeo looks so much like a dumb blonde with flowing long hair? i think lampard is really cute as well. haha, and then we have our korean footballers. jo jae jin. go google him. he has a really good body. world cup is really saturated with hotties.

but i swear christano ronaldo is the most fucked up footballer. he's such a whiny crybaby and telltale. i bet when he was in school, he's the teacher's pet, sucking up to the teacher all the time. to put in moniza words "whatever foul he must have a word to it. even if he is 40m away, he will run to the referee and say something" and she does it with the dramatic running effect.

ahh well, too much ranting.

2006-07-02T13:27:00.000+08:00

Caught Superman at Grand ! Come to think of it! Watching movies has become a norm for me on weekends! Superman didnt disappoint me! i was thrilled from start to finish! about 140mins of rolling time! maybe i was disappointed that the bad boldy guy didnt DIE! Rating this show, i give it 4/5! The makers of the movie didnt forget Christopher Revees! touching! heard he fell during a stunt and has since become paralyzed. Poor him! Is he dead? havent heard of him recently !

(i read this when i was blog-hopping) my god!!! @!@#$#%^ how can someone be so ignorant, dumb and disgusting. period. so i tagged, and i was being really nice about it, that he's dead and his wife is dead as well, cos i'm 100% confident that he doesn't know that.

and as i was complaining about how americans are stupid because they think that singapore is in china and southeast asia is part of china and if we tell them that singaporeans live in tree-houses in jungles they would believe, i realize that i must also realize that a majority of the locals are just as dumb. they might think that canada is in the United States and there's no difference between North and South America. and to think the writer for that blog has gone through 10 years of compulsory education and is bombarded with entertainment news and gossip everyday. the most he can do is to google christopher reeves, and even CNA has made a tribute for this loving couple.

but that made my day because i realize there are many stupid people out there and even though i'm not that smart, i'm not too stupid either. (really self-comforting.. *roll eyes*)

i'm sorry for being so mean. haha, i just can't help it when i read his blog.

2006-07-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

i swear someone in my class uses a perfume/cologne/spray that i find very familiar. bonnie said i'm secretly attracted, glin called me a pervert. haha. but when you smell sth familiar, it's just in your instinct to find out what's that smell. i should ask him one day, but hella embarrassing cos i'm quite sure it's a perfume smell.

i think kaka is really cute. haha. he's the reason why i would want to watch brazil play. fine, only reason.

brandon routh is so hot in superman returns. :)

and i want to watch pirates. gonna watch pirates 1 again when channel 5 shows it. bonnie, jo, we need to go catch it, k??? and we need to go backpack-shopping.

on a more serious note, i think i'm starting to like school on the whole. not studying, but school. maybe coz my cca is ending and so i am not so restricted. ha, i'm supposed to be transformed into a nerd. ha, think i'm succeeding?

2006-06-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

blogger died on me since sat. freaking hell. i wanted to so post the korean-swiss match. damn it. now it's so anti-climax to post it. stupid, not going to post it anymore since swiss is out. haha. i can't believe spain is out. wtf. 3-1!! what has the world comes to.

friday's argentina vs germany. so gonna watch it.

sch started and it's a bore. i dun want to talk about it.

2006-06-23T13:45:00.000+08:00

yes! my internet is back again. my dad changes from starhub to singtel.. i survived 3 days w/o the net. wasn't too bad.

oh my.. the match tommorow morning. switzerland vs korea. i had a bad dream. haha, it's a dream about the match b/w korea and switzerland. i even dreamt the score. lol. dun really want my dream to actualize

i watched road to guantanamo yesterday. if you are pro-America, you should watch it. if you watched black hawk down then you watch it, you should watch it to be less biased. if you are anti-american you should definitely watch it. it makes you really angry. i enjoyed it alot. it's about 3 British pakistanis who went to Pakistan to attend a friend's wedding and decided to visit Afghanistan. Then they were mistaken as members of the Taliban and sent to jail in Cuba for 2 years. i feel that it's one of the better documentary/films i watched this year. (crash was still the best this year)

Black Hawk Down

2006-06-18T13:59:00.000+08:00

there are so much that i wanted to blog but i just couldn't remember.

i was watching black hawk down yesterday.. again. i think i watched it at least three times. first time cos i fell in love with josh harnett in pearl harbor, but later found him to be too dirty and rugged in this movie. i mean, what can you expect when you are fighting a war. pearl harbor was a sucky war movie cos you see josh harnett clean-shaved, losing the focus on the attack and much more emphasis on the love triangle. ha, anyway, because of black hawk down, i noticed eric bana and ooh, haha, which further explains why i watched troy. i never knew orlando bloom was in the movie as well. haha, but just like in troy, he's a loser. he got injured not coz he fought a war, but coz he fell from the helicopter.

i love black hawk down, now that the whole conflict made more sense to me. i actually went to read my UN book (WOW!) to find out more about somalia before i watched it yesterday. and i was pleasantly surprised that because of history, i understood the conflict and the dialogues better. like in the opening scene, UN sent food aid to somalia because the civilians there were dying of hunger because of wars between tribal factions and a severe drought. but the civilian rebels/armies said that these food were for general aidid. and these soldiers on the helicopter could not do anything. they didn't explain why but now i know why. it's because they would be violating article 2(7) of the UN Charter. you can go google it and you will understand why.

another interesting point i noted when i watched it last night was this scene when the soldiers were ready to fire but could not do do, unless they were fired upon 1st. again, it had to do with the articles of the UN charter as the PEACEKEEPING forces cannot fire unless they were fired upon 1st. it was not mentioned in the movie but the Security council had adopted a resolution authorizing the secretary general to take all nessar measures to establish authority of UNOSMO to arrest, try and punish those responsible for the attack. and this is the first time a peacekeeping operation was authorized to use force under Chapter VII of the UN charter. i figured that's why the US troops could head down to the town central to capture the general.

but of coz this movie is extremely biased, merely showing how the US soldiers sacrificed themselves. often, in history, we criticized the US for being stupid and nosy, but this is a refreshing side of the US soldiers. and the petty politics.

precisely i could understand the movie, the controversy and biasness made a lot of sense to me. haha, studying history is a good thing. (:

maybe my UN book isn't so boring afterall

ageing

2006-06-15T14:36:00.000+08:00

i chanced upon jo's lj and she was lamenting about ageing. it struck my mind that soon, i'll be 18 and that sounds really old. you are hitting the 20s soon. and to think that you are born in the 80s is even worse. cos those who are born in the early 80s are in the ripe age to get married. it's like 8-10 years down the road, it's gonna be your turn. and so that's basically mean, you gotta find a life partner soon, date a couple of years, get married and have kids and be a stay-home mum. ok, fine. not many people have such dreams. bonnie said that i look like those kind of girls who want to settle down and look after kids. actually, it's quite true. haha, i don't mind doing that. i'm not and never will be a workoholic. i can't see how people can put work before everything else. it's too unlike me. but i like the challenge. challenging myself to prove people wrong. i think that's and will be my motivation for working hard.

anyway, jo was saying how now a guy you see looks cute, but you are probably too old for him. i was just thinking about those actors. when you are in primary school, you seldom fantasize about those hollywood stars cos they look too old. but now, these hollywood stars seem to have such an appeal. not sure if that's a good thing. i like older men?

my mum was talking to me about how she's gonna attend this wedding at sentosa and the dinner's outdoors. never will i have a marriage in the open. air-con is the best tech of the 20th century, why not use them? and having a wedding dinner at sentosa just feels so outdated and not classy. plus, he's gonna drive his bride himself.
i'm such a fairy-tale person. i would love to have a chauffeur to do the driving while the just-married couple sits at the back, have some grand dinner, and have honeymoon in rome during spring. *dreaming*

ok, i should stop. or else my readers will start rolling their eyes.

Dae Han Min Guk

2006-06-14T09:24:00.000+08:00

korean artistes in germany

really cute

coach saying thanks to him

*clap**clap**clap* *clap* Dae Han Min Guk!!!

so my taste wasn't so bad afterall. see 14 and 9 are the stars last night. muahaha. i should take out the shirt we made 4 years ago and wear it in the next match! i was so happy last night. YAY!!! Asian pride. i hope japan comes out from their shock soon. although i like australia, my asian blood is more superior. i can't believe they were so close yet so far. damn the last 8 minutes.

corea hwaiting. i hope they perform better in the next three matches! *cross fingers*

2006-06-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

i was supposed to post this like few days ago, but my vcd mania did not give me time to post. ooh, everyone should go watch this korean drama, goong. the actors are damn hot.. and the main actress is really cute.

someone is keeping something from me. haha, and i found out. it's nothing big but i thought he/she would have told me.. =(

watched x-men the other day. it was too short. but being the x-men fan i am, ok, wolverine fan i am, i find it not too bad. though x-men 2 was still the best.

now i wanna watch superman!

world cup craze is here. i don't understand why people can stay up the whole night every night to watch football. it's such a toll on your body. your biological clock go haywired. world cup should just be held in asia again. lol. like 2002 in southkorea/japan.

i remembered clare and i were so crazy over the koreans red devils. (that's cos clare's jap team lost too early and she went crazy over ahn jung hwan). and duh, i would cheer for the koreans. yeah, so we went down to taka to watch their match against turkey for 3-4th placing (i think) oh, and we made ourselves t-shirts to show our support. red devils right? so we used red fabric paint to write our favourite team player numbers (mine was 14.. go find out who. but i realized my taste wasn't that good 4 years ago) and 'da han ming guk' in korean. and we were like screaming like idiots in taka. haha, surrounded by many malays (turkey fans). caucasians really think that all asians look alike. these two caucasians came up and asked if we were koreans.

nice experience. that was in sec 2 when i am so free. and it's unbelievable four years from then, i'll still very much a korean fan.

random

2006-06-06T12:37:00.000+08:00

i think matthew mcconaughey is DAMN SEXY! i saw him in oprah yesterday and i'm like "wow! he's hot even when he's shaggy". i noticed him when he was in 'how to lose a guy in 10days'. best thing, he's single now!!! muahaha.. gloating cos he apparently broke up with penelope cruz

ooh.. hahaha

he looks really good in 'failure to launch' with jessica parker. clean-shaved

ok, enough!!!

btw, i'm addicted to youtube =p. thanks to all those who are so free to upload movies for leechers like me.

BORED ASS

2006-05-31T16:19:00.000+08:00

BORED LIKE HELL! PRISON IN HERE! SOS!!

omg! i finish what i'm supposed to do for the whole day within 2 hours since i came to work. so technically speaking, since 10.30, i've been doing nth related to work. oh well, i have been researching for GP and reading econs essay and did my sea tutorial. an achievement! i should bring more work to do tmr. create my own work since they give me none. i don't mind being a coffee girl. at least it's work!

have you heard of someone complaining cos she's free? no? but that's because there's no one as free as me now. i try calling bonnie but the phone is not cooperating with me. haha. life here's suck. 1 hour 15 min more to knock-off

counting down..

Working life sucks hell

2006-05-30T19:46:00.000+08:00

working life sucks hell. 8.30-5.30 with 1hour break. and i feel like a slave. but i still smile all the time. sheez. and it's in some ugly polluted part of singapore, jurong industrial park. argh.. it's only 2 days.. i still have 2.5 days to go. I CAN DO IT

i so prefer to study now. working time is hella inflexible. argh. and i'm doing rubbishy admin work.

oh, i got free ticket for X-Men and if i bring a friend along, it's half-price for the friend. anyone wanna watch? wed, 3pm, suntec.

tae7en

2006-05-27T13:09:00.000+08:00

i just discover the wonders of youtube and so i decide to be some crazy korean lover and post videos of the two guys who made up my blog's name

se7en hotness (bonnie, for you as well)
he's hella hot, coupled with his dance moves..

taebin (he's irresistable)

tae7en!!! (:

this is stupid.. haha

I like this!! Se7en was feeling up taebin at one point (:

Crash!!

2006-05-25T20:13:00.000+08:00

omg! crash deserved the oscars. totally. i finally understood why it won instead of brokeback. and i regret not watching the movie earlier. the whole movie was so well-adapted. now i want to read the book. the characters intertwine in a very ironic manner and you just sit in awe how the plot can be so ironically interesting. every scene is like a climax scene. precisely why you will not get bored during the whole movie.

the racism theme seriously struck a chord. it's not just the blacks and the whites, it's also about the chinks and the blacks, the whites and the arabs, the arab and the hispanics. any kind of racism you want it, they have it in the movie. and every character is so ironic in their own ways. i don't want to be a spoiler. watch the movie and you get what i mean.

and it just keeps me thinking. not just the issue about racism but also the issue about wealth equality. it's precisely of discrimination that the blacks can never be filthy rich and because of discrimination that brings about all the social issues because one is poor and all the negative feelings and hatred start building up. this happens to every society, not just America.

just concurring to something i read in my chinese textbook. this author uses the voice of two newly born babies to describe the two different lives they have, because one is from a white-collar family while the other's father is a butcher. it is trying to imply that even from the second they are born, they are ought to be different. and once they are out of the hospital, their lives will never cross again. so the author illustrates how the rich baby was given preferential treatment in the hospital while the poor baby is just dump in a corner. and they are born on CNY eve, the rich baby's mum stays in the hospital for an extra day because the father was afraid that she would tire herself out if she's released. and the poor baby's mum is also staying for an extra day, but because his father was afraid they would be chased by loansharks on CNY eve. the rich baby cannot drink breastmilk because his mum cannot produce any. the poor cannot drink anymore breastmilk other than the first time because his mum gotta be the 'mummy' for another baby. as they left the hospital, the rich baby was wrapped tightly in wool clothings and despite leaving in the car, his parents hid him under their cover for fear that he would catch a cold. on the other hand, the poor baby brave the winter wind and snow, riding on the back of this father, ready to conquer the harsh world.

i got pretty emotion when i was reading the analysis of the story because i was thinking about crash and the little girl, the persian family, the blacks. and it just seems that our world is so bleak, our world sucks. argh. getting all so cynical again.

2006-05-25T10:03:00.000+08:00

i am a VCD addict. i work my schedule around the tv. my main schedule's vcd/tv and my work follows.

i'm finally done with my bride's 18. haha, 7vcds in 2 evenings. and i try TRY to squueze in time for work. now my mum refused to borrow any more VCDs.

anyone wanna watch X-men?

recently i have occasional thoughts about how i wish it's only january and orientation is not over yet. it just seems so fast the way time passes. there's simply no time for us to stop and take a breather. time just sweeps across.

and nowadays uni course seem to be the hot topic in most conversations, and especially so after the testimonial talks yesterday. should i do what i want or should i do what i should do? i really want to go abroad to study but i don't want to waste money just for the overseas experience and learning how to be independent.

this is so fustrating!!

haha, another two days more of school before we break for a holiday! ok, more like a study break. but at least i don't have to come to school and be tied down by the system.

2006-05-21T20:13:00.000+08:00

gayle's on the papers again. she's seriously getting famous. haha, and she sits beside me in class. (:

yesterday was fun. trip to kota tinggi, mainly because of the company we had. and the lack of company we had. haha.
lunch
waterfall. nice cold water.
ice-cream
dinner: nice chats
fireflies
sleeping on the bus

that pretty much sums up my day. the trip was much better than last year's.. definitely.

2006-05-18T17:15:00.000+08:00

we lost netball! by 3 points. i should have gone down to watch the match. but i have to be stuck at home with a runny rose. damn. it made more of an impact on me cos i was there when they won netball last year. this year's season is really bad, we lost all our defending champion positions. ALL! don't wanna talk about it. jun said next year will be worse. i believe him.
and it sucks cos i dare not talk or console them when i see them the next day cos it's so weird. i'm so scared they'll cry. like i saw luddy at tuition the other day and i dare not breathe a word about hockey.

anyway i want to watch Da Vinci Code and X-Men. i am more interested in X-Man though.
cos i thought robert langdon would be much hotter than tom hanks. i was so upset when i saw the trailer. but Audrey Tautou and Paul Bettany are so hot. OMG!! although silas is the murderous monk in the book, i always thought that he sounds really hot, then i saw the front page of life yesterday, i was like "oh oh oh!!! i need to so watch this movie". but i always love X-Men haha. Famke Janssen is so pretty! james marsden/cycylops. ooh. shawn ashmore/iceman. ooh. jo is gonna laugh at me. haha, i'm always so star-struck.

2006-05-16T07:21:00.000+08:00

i am updating because i wanna push the angsty post down. sounds like i'm so unwilling to update, but the truth is i've nothing to update..

i think i've successfully brainwashed bonnie that my korean stars are not small-eye, wide forehead little ugly things. she admitted that se7en's hot. (muahahaha). haha, and jo is watching this korean show. i recommend good things okay!

i've been watching way too much tv. survivor! ooh, i think Aras hot after he shaved.

like i said, thursday was a bad day. 1st the t-shirt issue, then rugby lost to SA (it leaves you this sour after taste when you hear about it) then the annoucement that Mashren is back and there goes my A for econs, then hockey got beaten by SA (SA again. no offense liz :)), then Chris got voted out of AI. stupid mcphee (sorry, jun, but she is my least favourite in the top4). the only comforting thing that happened on thur was the annoncement that today's a holiday, which i knew since last tue.

the reason why we cannot have a holiday on thu instead was because MOE doesn't allow us to have a long holiday (thu-sun) because they thinks it will affect our productivity cos we get too complacent and lazy after long holidays. *cries*

2006-05-11T19:58:00.000+08:00

Bitch alert!! i'm so angry today! and angry over something not worth being angry about. worse still, i embarrassed myself by crying. :(

this stupid saggy stingy old bitch (sorry, but that's the perfect description for her) 'slapped' me right in the face today.
Issue discussing today: t-shirt designs

for interact, we need a interact t-shirt so i asked this girl to design it last week. and i gave beehoon (the teacher's name) the designs on monday and i expect her to call her supplier asap since she has been rushing me for that damn shirt design. but then till wed, she hasn't called. so i kept thinking and i realized how goddamn ugly the first design was, so i asked moniza to design one for me. and i got jolene's supplier who can give me the shirts by next week and at a price of $7.50 (white shirt, only black colour design). so i told beehoon last night to hold on to the designs and i'll show her moniza's design and i told her about my supplier. fine, everything was well. and i need to give the designs in by today afternoon so that i can get it by next week. thus, it was a bit rushed and i was quite stressed out cos i need a scanner to scan the designs too. and i'm so pissed why our school doesn't provide a scanner. what the hell.

ok, today, i was fortunate to meet mark ng in the morning and he approved of the design except that it was preferred to be in navy blue. then i'm like cool, ok. as i was afraid that the price for printing navy blue will be more ex than printing black, i did not tell ng peisan (another teacher-in-charge) the actual price and quote that it will definitely be below 10 bucks. and she was also nice enough to scan the picture for me. so i thought oh well, cool. i managed to do everything during my free period, thus i can use my lunch to email the designs to the supplier.

then, bitch called me and demanded why i gave ms ng and her different prices and demanded me to see her and not to order the shirts. i'm like fuck off lar. i already told ms ng the reason and she didn't even say anything. so before i called her back, i called the supplier again, and he gave me a price of 7 bucks.

then i called the bitch. she scolded me the first thing she heard my voice. like how both teachers are very angry and disappointed with me cos i am so last-minute and rushing them. then she asked me why i told ms ng it was 8.50. FUCK! first, i was the one rushing from place to place finding both of them cos they can't seem to make up their minds and the only thing they do is to approve of the design. what did they, or should i say, her even do. i can't possibly ask her to scan because i bet she can't use the scanner. second, i never ever said it was 8.50. i said below 10 and i explained to her the reason and i told her the price now is 7 bucks. so she doesn't have a comeback. and she goes on nagging and warning me about how disappointing blah blah blah and i better talk to ms ng about it. i was so angry that i told her, look mdm, now i gotta rush and send the designs to the supplier now. and i hung up.

cos of the pressure and anger, i was so pissed and fuming mad that i cried. gosh. embarrassing. but i would cry if i'm really mad. so you can imagine how angry i was.

the funny part and the ending of the whole issue was when ms ng called me and she didn't even sound a bit angry. and i explained to her again my whole rationale and she just said that next time, inform your successor about this problem. that's all. how nice. it solves the problem totally. bitch, you are old yet so inexperienced. learn from her.

i think i'm not someone who can tahan her rules and rigidity, that's why she doesn't like it when i do things my way without consulting her. she was so mad when we sent out a order form for the t-shirt w/o showing her the design first. and of course, she was mad again because i didn't choose her supplier. please you ultra slow woman. i can get everything done within two days. i gave you the weekend and mon-wed to get to the supplier and what feedback did i get from you. Zero. nothing.

she just spoils my day. the only reason why i can't wait to step down because i cannot stand dealing with her anymore. i like the club, the exco, the everything, but kick her out please. i cannot take it anymore. she should just sit on the sideline and shut up.

2006-05-10T20:15:00.000+08:00

Mr Joel Mak has never said something right since he came to AC

first, during this interview with the Ed board, when asked what actions is he going to take in AC as a vice-principal
"i think the most important issue right now is to work with the physical education dept to see how the boys can be more prepared for NS"

then, he scolded us for not showing the AC spirit because very few supporters were down at the X-country finals
"As A-C-Sians, this should not be the case"

today during NE dialogue (all j2s)
"hmm, why not the new elected student councillors go forward and ask some questions?"

"should we be asking questions related more to the security of Singapore, back to the main topic"
speaker: "no, it's okay. they can ask any questions they want"

i shall refrain making any comments. or i'll be deflaming the VP.
___________________________________________________

anyway today's NE dialogue was pretty interesting cos the issues put forward was a challenge to the speaker, regarding Burma issue, M'sia-Singapore ties, Iraq war and Singapore involvement in relation to US-Sg FTA, ShinCorps and Temasek Holdings

very sensitive issues
i like him because he's honest. quote him "there's nothing we can do. remember, we are a price-taker not a price-setter"
he makes some sense and is the typical pragmatic and selfish Singaporean
plus, he further consolidates our view of a cold cold world

but i don't like his attitude. arrogant, pompous *****
"i live in a generation where more than half the population has no education. the only thing we can do is retrain them or let them CONVENIENTLY DIE OFF"

and he keeps defending MFA as a ministry focusing all on foreign political issues and he keeps insisting that they are not concerned about investments. But Temasek Holdings is obviously a state-owned enterprise and they are using OUR reserves to invest

oh well, but i think because he is brutally honest, it makes the whole dialogue interesting. not a talk that ppl fall asleep

2006-05-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

"i still affirm that anyone whom i called a liar and dishonest and dared not sued me is a liar and dishonest. i said that before, and i will say it now"

yes yes, we all hear you.

politics are so childish in singapore. i am referencing it with US. haha, even Taiwan has cooler politics. which country do you see cat fights and throwing of stuff at members of parliament.

my class is quite informed about politics. more like we are just cynical and pro-opposition.

i think my grandma is so cool. she has never voted for PAP before. and she's 70sth. she doesn't even know who's the opposition but she was like "singapore needs an opposition or we will die" how cool's that. my grandma is so modern.

Elections Results

2006-05-07T07:53:00.000+08:00

PAP reigns again! again, we are back to square one. i was expecting the opposition to win at least a GRC, sweeping a couple more seats in the parliament, making chiam see thong and low thia kiang less lonely. but all the effort and money has been put to waste. i thought rather highly of slyvia lim, but .. ah well. i think we attribute this to our ageing population, where most of the 40s-50s are ultras (to put in LKY words when he described the Malay extremists in 1964-65), the super pro-PAP supporters. i can testify to this statement. my mum is one for example who loves the PAP. so i think jo's mum is so cool. maybe 20 years down the road, elections will be different. hopefully there are more opposition, and i mean opposition who are able to contest on par with PAP. and the voting power lies on our generation. by then there will probably be no more LKY, so tajong pagar... i wonder who is taking over him.

there's this gp essay question "do you think teenagers have a say for everything, but a heart for none" i'm proud to say i'm not. i wish i can vote and make some kind of impact on the elections. but i still gotta wait many many more years. and i mean MANY. h0lland-bt timah is always gonna be a walkover any time soon.

haha, tmr is the elections for the new j1s counsellors. can't wait. another exciting thing to look forward to

Bitch alert

2006-05-03T19:35:00.000+08:00

Bitch alert:
bitch! bitch! bitch! what the hell! i gave you so much time to prepare. since last week. and i even reminded you to get it on monday because i know wed it's the gp exam. stop coming up to me and giving me shit. stop complaining to me about how you have do get the stuff. you haven't been contributing. i've giving you something to do. and it's such a bloody simple task. quit complaining and being a weakling. aish

enough of rambling. gp mock was ok. i think my essay was not too bad. hope i didn't run out of point or i'll so dead. AQ was terrible. i was talking senseless crap.

Election Fever

2006-05-02T20:40:00.000+08:00

Election fever is running high in Singapore. it's so interesting to see political parties (or it is party) geared up and all ready for the big thing this sat. and all those rallies. i was laughing when i hear some of the speeches while some really made some sense.. both the opposition and PAP. so fun. too bad, my constituency is a walk-over. duh! holland-bt timah. it's all landed.

election fever has penetrated in acjc school grounds. haha, it's the student council elections. ok, i only really know one person in this j1 batch. and being the nice person i am, i shall help him advertise. but i think he'll make a good counsellor. at least he was a pretty good og mate.

quite a cute poster i gotta admit

I have wayyy too much time

2006-04-30T10:12:00.000+08:00

i have way too much time. someone please kill me. i can't believe i spent the whole morning renovating my blog. i like this new skin. haha.. i feel so accomplished. i always feel proud of myself. i'm so easily satisfied. tsk.

it's the 2nd day into the long weekend. damn and i've done nothing. i really do not want this weekend to end. i need my breaks or i'll be broken.

i never realize how old 18 means until now. alot of things are happening which i never thought would happen if i was in sec sch. it's just so bizarre how much i experience in my 1 and a half years in ac. and i like it. it makes me grow up fast.

but there are also times whereby i wish i'm still in kindergarden and would spend my weekends playing at wendy's place and refusing to go home. sth that would not actualize now.

the other day, when i asked my mum to help me make a phonecall because i just don't feel like doing it because i think i'm still a kid. my mum was quite pissed and said "you are 18. what kid?" haha, it's so contradicting how she wants be to grow up but still tries to control me.

this sudden thought yesterday: i want to go hongkong after As. alone or with my friends (if i can find company). i was actually really tempted to go this jun hols, but i dared not even ask my parents because i know the answer even before asking.

What a day!

2006-04-28T15:52:00.000+08:00

i was expecting a fun day to end of the week and a signal to a long weekend. besides friday is a hella short day. but no! today's one of the worst day ever in j2. or my whole jc life. it's not so much about things that affected me directly but things that indirectly caused my sucky mood.

all drama happens during gp. always.

because we were so bored with lessons, we just took a break and matt was talking to mdm about this gay couple blog and decided to share it with all of us. i don't think it's nice to share the blogsite here. i don't know if this couple really wanted to publicize their relationship or it was some awful prank which just keep spreading.

when he flashed it on the projector, everyone burst into fits of laughter. some laughed because one partner had really bad english. like really bad. (the other was a lot better and sane) and some were laughing over the neoprints they took. basically, it was just a fun and leisure killing-time period and everyone was 'enjoying themselves' in their own ways. and also making a bit offensive comments, like "when i see them, i'll stone them" kinda thing. and i supposed it got a bit out of hand because gayle was really offended and she gave her one piece worth and started crying.

ok, that shocked me. if there are no emotional tags involved, i do feel that gayle over reacted a bit and despite me being a friend, i felt that it wasn't that bad. so i feel that there's probably more to it and the whole incident was the last straw.

so i could see where the class would be heading too if they don't know gayle well and there are rumours flying around about her. and true enough, after the lesson, during math lect, some girls were openly talking about it.

but seriously i could see where they were coming from and i actually thought that what bobby, amaria and matt said made sense. even if i am not that close to matt and bobby, i could understand how they felt. we had always known they had low or no tolerance for gay so i'm immune to it.

besides, i have resolved to the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. it's just like how i bitch about them for being cool-wannabes. it's the same. but i dont confront them because that's their way of life. i don't like it but i respect it. although i dont see the whole big fuss about homosexuality and they do, i just keep it to myself. and i'm the kind who wouldn't say anything unless i feel comfortable around you. my opinions are sacred. (lol)

but i was quite thankful that jolene was not around, knowing how she laugh and how insensitive she is.

it's been a really long time since someone cried in class so openly. i think the last time was when i was in sec2 in the computer lab. shit, this time it's again the com lab. the lab is cursed man. and i thought something even more dramatic was going to happen when the whole saga ended. i don't know if i actually felt relieved that nothing of what i thought was going to happen happened. if not it would be another round of dramatic episode.

i am always troubled when things like that happen. it makes me think too much and it makes me moody the whole day. i was just happy that there's a long weekend for everyone to simmer down.

on a lighter note, we were just wondering if they'd think that we are les. haha. so i was like shit, we need to get attached to prove it to them. i was joking. i am not that superficial and stupid. and besides, i have an attraction for guys, though i do say that wah, this girl is damn hot.

Sentosa Road Trail/Amazing Race (: (: (:

2006-04-23T08:50:00.000+08:00

ok, i felt that we did a good job. at least it wasn't kiddish and everything was carried out smoothly apart from some unexpected hitches. i'm happy! and satisfied. but too bad it got shortened to a day camp instead of an overnight camp.

alrite, so now this camp is over and i've no excuse to be busy over CCA and not studying.. my sis is freaking me out. she studies like no one else's business. and i'm doing As and she's just doing her Os. freaky hardworking sis = scared and paranoid seeyun

i need to do this shoutout: LIZ!! i need to talk to you really soon. i feel that i'm such a hypocrite.

which phone should i get? i can change phones soon.. haha. another thing to be happy about.

*1.3 Megapixel Camera with 8 x digital zoom and Photolight
*Secondary in-built VGA front camera for video calls
*Video Recording
*Supported Messaging: MMS, EMS, SMS, Instant Messaging and E-Mail
*Supported Audio: MP3, AAC, AAC+, Enhanced AAC+, RA8 and MIDI
*Supported Video: MPEG4, H.263 and RV9
*Supported Connectivity: Bluetooth (incl. A2DP) and USB
*Expandable Memory Support
*GPRS Class 10

OR

*2 Megapixel VGA Digital Camera
*Video Recorder (60mins)
*Voice Recorder (60mins)
*6 MB Internal Memory & expansion via Mini-SD Card up to 1GB
*Universal connectivity with Bluetooth, IrDA and USB cable
*Video Call
*64 Polyphonic Ringing Tones
*Video Ringing Tones
*MMS
*Email Client
*JAVA (MIDP 2.0)
*WAP Browsing
*Data Access with 3G/EDGE/GPRS
*FM Radio (with Visual Radio)
*Music Player (MP3/MP4/AAC/eAAC+)
*Media Player
*Direct USB Printing via PictBridge
*Push To Talk (dependent on service provider)
*Supports Chinese

__________________________________

i think the nokia one sounds so much cooler. but the motorola one looks better

Sucks to be stuck in the middle

2006-04-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

ok, this is seeyun's friends saga part II

now i don't know who to believe or who to listen to? i'm starting to doubt that friend i thought she was really quite poor thing. let's call her A. sometimes, i feel that because i'm the only one she can talk to and she believes that i regard her very highly as my good friend, and hence she takes me for granted? she tells me that B, the other girl i referred to the other time, has changed and blah blah blah. but then i really do not think that B has changed and i always tell A it's because she's really busy. but A thinks that she's caught up with her new friends and has neglected her.

but but but, in a new environment, you need to make friends. and if you don't find friends in your class and cling on to your sec sch friends only, that makes you a really anti-social person and you are kinda outcasted yeah?

i understand A is unable to find friends she is able to relate to in class and she's quite upset about it, but if i take myself out of 'her friend' context, i seriously wonder has she been trying or is her expectations too high? new friends cannot be clones of old friends. my class friends are really different from my clique in mg, but i love the change and it makes me more diversed instead of still holding to i'm from mg, i'm almighty and rich mindset. it just turns people off

i think A was quite upset with me when she came to complain to me about her classmates during recess cos i was talking to my friends. but she was reading her chem notes and she was bitching about someone i has no comments about. so when she saw B in the toilet, she dumped me.

and then during our meeting, i think she was still pissed. we were discussing about sentosa and meeting at 12. then she said this right in front of my face to B "hey, let's meet earlier to eat lar. don't need to ask seeyun. she never .... (i can't remember)"

bloody hell

bonnie called that "insensitive" but i call it "on purpose"

aishhhh.. i'm such a two-faced. i feel bad ranting about her, but i need to analyse the whole situation here or keeping it inside my body will kill me eventually if i don't let it out

Organ Donation

2006-04-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

based on some Act in Singapore Law, when you reach 21, should you meet with any accidents and is brain dead, your organs can actually be donated if you never indicated a preference not to. so it also means that us ignorant singaporeans never know of such laws, never sign any agreement yearly, hence it is up to the government to decide our fate.

and now, there's another law that states that at the age of 18, you can pledge organ donation.

i'm not against organ donation. i understand and recognize it's a good thing, but the whole talk on monday was an ultimate turn-off. because of that speaker, i think twice about organ donation. he was a horrible speaker. what he said was not felt in his tone. he said stuff about how important these donations are to many people who have been waiting for years for a kidney or a cornea. but he was shrugging, shaking his head, closing his eyes as if memorizing from a script. on the stage. and we could see all his actions because we were right in front. i was so put off and i think the whole cohort was cos we were laughing. i don't feel bad for him because i really do not see the passion in him. i mean being an organ coordinator, you need to know what's your job and truly care for the people. but i see and hear nothing in him.

ha, anyway, i'm not 18 yet. haha. don't have to be bothered about it yet.

2006-04-16T15:41:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 3am and felt like my head could crack. it was like severe hangover. and today the whole day felt that i had drunk a lot last night and was recovering from alcohol overdose. BUT i did not drink anything last night. must be the errotic weather.

i like long weekends. and like i told bonnie and jo on thursday, it keeps occuring to me that monday is the start of a long holiday. bloody hell no. i've to go back to school tmr. i don't hate school, but sch's becoming so boring and busy. this week is gonna be a killer week, trying to plan the race for the J1s. but i'm going to sentosa this sat. sth to look forward to. apparently we have another 2 more long weekends this term.. may day and vesak day. haha. that kept me happy for a long time yesterday.

but the holiday been pretty boring. but i've found myself a econs tutor. *cross fingers* that she will help me do well for econs. i'm not expecting her to bring me up to an A, but at help me understand and go about doing econs essays and DRQ.

2006-04-14T10:14:00.000+08:00

Thursday 14th April.. i was mentally drained. first i had a horrible day in school cos i kept forgetting my stuff. there's something really wrong with my short term memory. and i wasted taxi money. bloody hell. but the day was made better when we were chilling out in starbucks. yeah, but i couldn't sleep last night cos of the cuppacino i drank. caffine in the evening is BAD for you. i was still so energetic at 2am this morning.

and finally after a loong time, after so long into our friendship, i finally got to talk to her who is really close to my heart. i felt so sad for her and i don't really know what to do about it. yes, i can console her and assure her that i'll always be around, but sometimes i feel so torn about what i have to do and what i dare to do. it sucks when things get so tricky and you are the middleman. the instrumental key to unlock the mysteries of two individuals. it's really tough. but at least i know i made her feel better and i will try to be there for her more. and i really hope the other person doesn't disappoint me.

"it sure hurts when one of your closest friends start to drift apart"

i know how it feels and my way to deal with it or any relationship problems is so shut it off. by locking this problem in a compartment in your brain and hardwired yourself to never open the door or i will never able to handle what's going to gush out, that has been accumulating over time.

some people prefer to trash it out when some prefer to just keep it know to myself. i prefer the latter.

Comfortably at home on a Wed afternoon

2006-04-12T14:33:00.000+08:00

honestly, this is the only day of the whole week that i'm actually at home at 2.30 and i love it. school should be like that, but i really don't wanna go through or i don't think you guys wanna go through the whole ordeal of how our timetable sucks because our timetable is bloody the long. but oh well, we suffered in j1 or i don't see the whole point of complainin when we are already in j2 and into term 2. that's y i do not think that today's PCCG period was productive, by comparing our timetables with vj/rj. we all know why they have short time tables and i can totally understand how irritating it is when my rj friends can come out to me and say "my longest day ends at 2.30" as much as i want to strangle her, i realize that such a regime will not work in ac because our cohort has huge disparities and not filled with people comparing how many S papers they have. instead we are "oh no, what if we have to drop our 4th subj?" or worse, "oh no. i just failed As using my term exams grades." yeah, since there's no basis for comparison, therefore, just live it it.

and mdm's stretching-over-3-lessons study methods peptalk is .. aish.. useless. like how humans are built differently with different characters, we study differently. i believe everyone will take different routes to get to the same target. and although it's the same target at the same point, the path one takes may be hazardous to the other or you might trip over more pebbles and take a longer time to reach your point. so i don't see how sharing your 'study tips' are useful. i mean, duh, you have to memorize, you have to be disciplined. who doesn't know that. so i really don't think how it is possible to tell someone you study because everyone will study the same thing, but just at different pace and different time-tables. but ultimately you do the same thing.

i know for me, if it comes to memorizing history notes, i cannot be near anyone. i need to be locked up in my room on my bed, with the notes sprawled all over the floor, the sofa, the bed, a highlighter in my hand, reading the notes aloud to myself, and keep repeating the same points over a couple of times till it's stucked in my head. it's eccentric you would think, but if it helps me remember my stuff, i'd stick to being weird.

but of course, there are subjects that work best if you study in a group aka math. and maybe econs. but honestly, i still have not gotten the technique to go about studying econs. i really don't know how to plough through my notes and even if i study, i cannot answer questions, except MCQ. could it be i've been thinking of it as a SCIENCE subject, and i just read and understand, but not memorizing, so i can never get the termology right and hence, my essay or answers sound really non-economics and childlike. i think it's this problem and so, i suppose i have to pay a lot and i mean ALOT more time on it. it's the only subject that i'm REALLY disappointed in especially when you study a lot harder than you had for promos, but your grades are still the same.

something apart from mundane school stuff, bonnie and i were talking about death during assembly today. cos bonnie was like "my life sucks now. if i die tomorrow, i'll just regret not having fun" and hence we began this weird convo. but i think both of us are pretty much fine with death. i'm totally fine with death as in i don't fear if i were to die tmr, but i'm more afraid of people around me die. as a matter of fact, i dare not look into a coffin. i have never looked into one before.. it's one of this inborn fear. but for bonnie, it's more like what's life after death. because we are brought up with the idea of heaven and hell, the possibility of you going to hell after death simply puts off the whole idea of death and we just wish it's a world of nothingness. then so i said that when i die and it's a world of nothingness and i'll be a wondering soul, i wanna go travelling. then i'll be in the airplane and playing tricks on the travellers. haha, so fun. and i can go everyone for free, sitting first class plane, sleeping in first class suite and visiting the weirdest places even. first thing that came to my mind: zimbabwe. i am really fascinated by this african country at first in upper sec cos all our human geog maps are on this country. then more this year in history and gp. so i really wanna visit it. and namibia. or niger. all the african countries. i'd love to visit africa and safari. oooh.. *gush* yeah, so death aint a scary thing. but i want quick death not draggy death and you suffer so much before you die. and like bonnie said, it's not morbid, it's actually optimistic that you can think about death so lightly and be brave about it.

we always have weird conversations don't we. and last week, when jo wasn't around, moniza, bonnie and i are determined that we cannot be a virgin when we are 30 (or what? i cannot remember the age) and we will pay a handsome sum to some young man to get it done. haha. it's hilarious how 'desperate' we are.

and bonnie said something hurtful about my life on monday (i think). haha, she was like "seeyun, i can believe it. i thought you'd have a more interesting life than this"

hot hot heat- running out of time

Witless, humorless conversation
Has filled me up like an old gas station
I'm wallowing in a pool of gasoline

Self appointed sheriff of a popular ghost town
I'm open to bribes but I've arrested no one
I'm galloping off to meet my bride to be
She'll woo the saloon then sing us both to sleep

But... I'm running out of time
I'm running out of tim
eI'm running out of time
I've run out of time

Drop dead gorgeous art history drop out
Thought her father ought to pay for her to clear the whole shop out
She carries her cameras in hand to complete the look

Screenplay players co-writing a screenplay
Cotton candy for the eyes but cotton balls for the brain
He thinks to himself, "Thank God the bar's not too high."
Just look at his face and then you'll see why

But... I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time I've run out of time

Hollywood waiter with a chip on his shoulder
Only break has been his back and yet he's just getting older
He's washing his clothes in a sink of self-pity

Retired ball player guest-hosting a talk show
Earned a trophy and a wife and twice he's won the lotto
I'm running away but don't know who from or why
Just look in his eyes and then you'll see why

I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time I've run out of time

I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time I've run out of time

such a no brainer song that i listen to these days

That's why i go to sch forit

2006-04-07T16:11:00.000+08:00

haha. such a teenage-catchy poser song. but i used to like it. i think i still do sometimes for the cheesy lyrics. i really don't mind sch as in the cirricula, academics part. i think i've gotten very used to work after work after work. i am coping with it and i'm proud to say i'm so happy that i did all my tutorials.

but what i'm sick of and it's getting to my nerves more is the people.
there's this convo
bonnie: "wth! this hatred for them is what keeps me going?"
seeyun: "yeah i think so too. i'm getting really bitchy"
bonnie: "what if this hatred dies out. then there's nothing to drive me to work hard"
seeyun: "trust me, it will just keep growing"

it's not a pessimistic thought. it's a pragmatic thought. some certain people just make me so freaking irritated. i always say i'm not a righteous person and i really don't think i live to the title, but at least i'm brought up knowing what's right or wrong and what's being respectful and accomodating to other people's beliefs and orientation.

i used to think jolene was fine. i thought that she is cute and easygoing. but hella NO! she either changed or she had always been like that. it's more like acting cute or innocent for the sake of getting attention. and she accuses some classmates of whining/grumbling/boasting for attention but flirting/hitching up guys through acting all touchy and sweet and cute is infinity times worse. i used to think quite well of her, but now she makes me realized how innocent/dumb i was in the past when i saw this other side of her. and bonnie told me about that case during recess. i was FUMING!

please don't talk about how you love god and how godly a christian you are when what you do are definitely against your beliefs. we hear you but what you do are totally different. and actually this leads to not just one person in the class, but many of them. and it totally irks me. cos it's so hard to differentiate if they are nice or simply fake. i am not being sensitive or what. like say, pam, i of course know she is nice and ppl like amaria, she's real. but for the rest (you know who i'm referring to) i really cannot tell.

ah btw, its quite freaky to have random ppl calling me up when i didn't give my number out since 3 months ago. i really wonder how the 2nd-intakers get my number. then randoms will call me up and the easiest thing for me to do is to transfer them to the teachers. ha, i hate dealing with people who are so ignorant when we made an annoucement and i've a bloody notice board.

we were talking about socializing in school and it's gettin really tiresome. sigh. there are so much to think and do rather than sitting down to talk to new people or be nice to everyone. i'm trying to smile and make friends with the j1s but then it seems so hard cos they are so childish? i'm sure that's what the seniors thought of us but seriously, i think these j1s were hella lot worse than us last year.

i noe.. why bring this up again? cos today when i was trying to study in the library and it's meant to be a study hall kinda thing which obviously ppl keep their mouths shut and their ass to themselves. but there's this 4 j1s who were talking and laughing so bloody loudly. i glared at them and they still continue. i really wanna go up to them and say "fuck off to the vd if you wanna talk" but then i decided to keep my cool cos they are just not worth to be blacklisted by me. ha.

i'm starting to have this heck-care attitude. i know i've been bitching and of course, an eye meets an eye and the karma thing, i'll be bitched about somehow. but haha, i guess i've good bitching skills and EQ, so i don't think i've offended anyone really badly yet. call me two-faced. but i think that's how you have to deal with things. be neutral about people and then be horrid behind people's back, but be nice to friends. i treasure close friendship but i don't give a damn about aquantiances long as we acknowledge each other in sch.

i'm quite happy not only ppl in the class knows the pw to my blog. i would think only 3: jo, bonnie, aisyah. andre doesn't even know, but he chose not to know when i ask him if he wants to know okay! not my fault. lol. i kinda guessed once i've a pw, things i feel for the class will start pouring out and actually it's a good thing andre doesn't read this because he thinks that it's precisely why we dont' hang out with them that the class is so divided.

but i really do not think that's the case. i strongly believe in there are people that simply don't click even if you put them together in a close compound for two years. i strongly believe that it's the character thing. it's just like how cool-people have this radar on their head and they sense each other and how gays will know that you too are a gay. and if you don't have the radar, you just can't fit in.

and that's why our class is so different and it just happens to be this way. and i think most classes are split into two. just ask around. i'm sure there's no one class that is bonded as a class. we prolly are sensitive to each other but i am quite sure it's not the kind of close friendships that everyone forged with everyone in the class. it's just not possible. i can bet on that. ok, one will think that his/her class is very united because there's a majority of the class who can stand each other and you just happen to be in the majority, but what about those poor minority? do people actually make an effort to integrate them? or are they just not part of the class you are referring to? it's a phenomenon. it's a parallel to racial divides that happen all over the world, over centuries. from the burmese and the ethnic minorities, the black slaves and their white superiors to malays and chinese riots in 60s singapore and arborigines/whites/chinese in australia. we can minimize this split but can we truly solve it? think again.

Election Fever

2006-04-05T15:36:00.001+08:00

from gayle to bonnie and now me.. check this out
http://www.singaporedemocrat.org/index.html

the other side of singapore politics or the other view on singapore politics. of course, what they say tend to be biased but they do have profound backing. i really admire the democrats sometimes. being driven to bankruptcy or humiliation most of the times, they are still determined to stand for the cause. truly it's all about free speech and freedom to vote.

i asked my mum the other day, why not she vote for the democrats if we don't have a walkover. my mum's reaction "are you crazy? you will be black-listed!" so much for voting. i think i asked jo who lived in the opposition party who their family voted for. apparently, they just gave a null vote. i'd do that too. it's not because i am anti-P A P or pro-S D P, i'm definitely not very interested in singapore politics nor would i like to put myself in hot soup. definitely P A P has provided us lots of goodies, but it's really a socialist state when we are trying to claim ourselves to be democratic. we are not democratic. period.

and sometime i've doubts about L K Y. if you read our history sbq notes, you will realize that he was actually a english-speaking ah-beng. pointing fingers at opposition, shouting, collaborations to achieve his ultimate aim, steathily converting to a different path when the communists lose their value. and gayle was telling us how he was indeed a communist when in the 1960s, mind you, guys were not allowed to have long hair, and they were made to do OT in the back scene to achieve this equality thing.

yes elections are here. and my parents got their progress package. i'm doubtful about the govt spending so much money to pacify their citizens. after elections, it's gonna be a time of gloom, and oh, we need pay cuts. we need to tax more.

politics is such a senstive issue to talk about in singapore. i might be a suspect of the opposition. have seeyun arrested.

2006-03-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

From a ACEE to a ACCE.. i felt that it was quite an improvement

at least it proves that my one week (despite lots of playing) was quite productive. but we got to all keep in mind that our tested topic range is then tight (just term 1 work). i bloody hell could have done better for chinese. ok, i shall not bitch. laoshi and i have a mutual dislike for each other. i'm not saying that i should get more marks, but she should at least give me better comments when i asked her how should i improve. well, by just reading what you wrote on my paper regarding my zuowen will so give suggestions on how i can do well huh? or are you trying to diss me by saying that i can't even read what you wrote. !#@)# she kinda shoo-ed me off in less than a minute while some prize students were worth 10-min of her time. so much for equality and discrimination. i'm so tempted to just snap at her, but my mum will most prolly kill me if she gets called up

i'm so upset my history partner is GONE! OMG! *stressed* jo, i'll miss you during history. now it's just ruth, me and .. the boys..
but i'll survive. but it sure gonna be weird :/

had a nice talking session with bonnie and gayle. lots of bitching as well. but it makes me further confirm what i feel about the class, typical acsians, school in general.

they said mg was really sheltered. yes i agree. we are so innocent compared to girls who stick paper at the back of their teachers that read "shut up you fat cow"

and in acjc, we learnt to conform or just hide like a hermit. it's either you are eager for attention so that you can be noticed so you resort to really mean antics to get your way. i just don't understand how making fun or dissing a teacher can make you all-so-popular. so much for being a christian school and how ironic is that these people who are so disrespectful are discriminating against homosexuality cos it's a HORRIBLE SIN and DADDY GOD will be angry.
so what makes you think that being so horrible to teachers who make the effort to teach us and are actually nice teachers is not a SIN.

of course i don't think i'm a perfect person to shut them off cos i just bitched about my laoshi. but the difference in this laoshi is that i can feel negative vibes from her. i'm not kidding!!! i can just sense that she hates me. don't believe, just sit in one of my chinese class. she either ignores me totally or just shut me off when i say something and don't give credit to me when she later uses that point. SEE!!! i'm serious!

but then again, back to the rest of the teachers, i dont think it's very nice to be so mean by saying "can you PLEASE stop clicking the pen cos it's REALLLY irritating?" in that ethel-all-so-mighty voice and again, this happens in GP to dolly, "oh look, who is the INSANE one here?"
i'm like just shut your mouth when you don't have any decent thing to say. simply put by bonnie F__ you

alrighty, i finally got the motivation to study! yay! be proud of me! like FINALLY! i just came out with my weekly work checklist! *cross fingers that i keep to it*

bonnie, see, i'm not like other mg girls who say that they don't study when they actually study. haha, i think liz and i always bitched about these people in mg days. haha, i'm always proud that i study and i'll just boast. pardon me. i'm crazy

Self-praise

2006-03-25T15:46:00.000+08:00

MUAHAHAHAHA.. i got an A for math. 1st time since jc life starts and 1st time since amath days.
i don't care if the paper was easy and practically the whole world got an A
an A is an A.

haha, ok, so i don't think i will need to drop a subj if i don't fail anything.

cross fingers for history and econs.

Screwed

2006-03-22T19:17:00.000+08:00

i hate it when you study but you still can't do the damn paper. ok, i studied for econs okay! but the drq sucks hell. i forgot my quantity theory of money. i was thinking it's mv=pt and i even wrote it down but i didn't know how to explain it so i cancelled it. !#!@%$#^%$^& fish! crap! suck! argh! i'm so angry with myself. and i hope i wrote okay for my 12mark question. i was seriously rambling. why must they make the damn paper so hard!!! but i was thankful i could do the mcq. prolly a few errors but i'm quite happy with it cos i know what i was doing.
damn econs.

ok, and it's a vicious cycle cos i was too stressed over history to study for econs during the weekend. history was BLEH. jo and ruth and i just couldn't do the UN sbq. we read it, pause, think, write our pathetic intro, then how ah? so i was randomly choosing my similarities of sources and it was bad. SEA sbq was not that bad, at least it's obvious which are the confirming and disconfirming sources. but it's just, i feel so shaky w/o assistance. it's like you are not sure if you hit the lorms and you are blindly writing. it feels like you are blind and trying to get to a destination by feeling or bumping your way through. and my essays. aish. you just can't study too much sometimes. i've so much to write but in the end i had to write rather skimpy for some points because i realize if i write all the facts down, i will just go on forever. so i kept my answers to all 4 pages long (essays i mean). and it's a bloody 3 hour paper. i got the feel of what it is like to sit for 3 hours and write and you can't stop because you really need 45min for each essay or you will either not hit 4 page or you will write crap. yes, so basically it's writing writing and more writing. but i'm quite thankful i only have 2 3h essay papers. ha, the lit-hist ppl will have 5 3h essay papers.

oh well, tmr's math. i really cannot do 3-D. i cannot see the stupid diagram. i cannot see triangles within cubes. and andre was like "i end my exams today because math is not a paper." die andre. die. at least i understood numerical methods! yay! finally! and hopefully i can do integration minus the volume part. see i can't see math that is 3-D. can't they just make it 2-D and you just have to play around with numbers and not figures. i don't mind graphs, but don't make me visualize figures. i just cannot see it okay. that's y i'm not gifted. i remember in p4 and p6 when you sit for those gifted exams, they give you these figures. i didn't bother doing it. my mother tried to train me but ha, i've no skills for it.

i'm so not looking forward to getting back the results. i don't want SSP. i don't want to drop my 4th subj.
but if i were to drop, i'll prolly drop history. jo and i came to a conclusion that history is the only subject that gives you panic attacks and make you pee in your pants. seriously. it's damn stressful to sit for a history paper. it's the only paper that i come out with nervous cramps and it happens 3x already so i'm sure it's because of history. yar, and it's too hard to study for it. non-history ppl think you just need to memorize facts, but NO! you need arguments and you gotta formulate arguments on the spot sometimes. plus ngoei is terrifying. feel so stupid in his class all the time.

ok, on the brighter note, tmr's my last paper and we have to lessons after that. woohoo. and thus it's time to chill out. so much i wanna do in town.

Updated Profile (so friendster)

2006-03-16T11:42:00.000+08:00

i'm in a much better mood as compared to last week which was pretty much a roller coaster or something like a panic attack.

i've things straightened out in my head and i got some pretty good advice and consolation so i think i've past the tough phase.

although there are still remnants of unresolved issues, i'm gonna take it in my stride and not let it affect me.

my mum says i'm a stubborn cow. haha, i think i am. i tend not to listen to advice. or i may let you feel that i've sought your advice but ultimately i seldom like such opinions interfere in my decisions. of course i'll think through what one person has said and yes, i think it make sense and i might sift some relevant points, but i still like making my own decisions and living a life of my own. like i've said before, i can be a loner and i can don't share.

i love this march hols. it's a total nice break from school apart from the studying for terms, i absolutely love this short break.

and to some who are wondering what's going on with me, or why am i suddenly so moody, and some people have asked, i'll tell you when we hang out after terms. since i've told you guys half the story i don't mind telling you guys. and it's not like i'm keeping something from you guys AGAIN, honestly, i nv tell anyone and i don't intend to tell anyone. haha, so see how privileged you are. (:

Terms!!!

2006-03-09T19:16:00.000+08:00

seeyun will do well and prove to my parents that seeyun can study!
seeyun will work hard and console herself that she can study!
seeyun will plough through all her notes and shall not be lazy!
seeyun will not slack during my march holidays and be busy revising her work!
seeyun will not be careless during math and do more math questions!
seeyun will try to write cheem chinese essay sound cheem and laoshi will be pleased with her!
seeyun will make sure that she has time for gp compre and not fumble!
seeyun will read her UN book during the holidays and be sure of her IH SBQs!
seeyun will memorize her NAR notes and find out more about all the nukes and treaties!
seeyun will memorize her decol notes and be pro-Singapore and love LKY and PAP for her SBQs!
seeyun will learn her econs well so that she can pass econs!

yes yes. seeyun can do it. and seeyun should first start by getting off the computer.

seeyun has gp and chinese tmr. so i'm gonna wish her all the best and have faith in her. lol! =p

When things strike twice

2006-03-08T15:49:00.000+08:00

when something hits you for the first time, you would be caught by surprised so you are not so affected by it. but throughout the course, you know alot more about it and you turn more afraid. when it strikes you again, the impact is alot greater. we were talking about this guy with cancer relapse some time ago and we wonder why god wants to play tricks on us?

bonnie said that i'm someone who act tough. in a way, yar, i agree. she said that even when i need help, i'll just pull it through it myself. ha, quite true. i'm being an ass. i dun like being pitied, i know it's concern but i would just not like how people look at me differently cos of something. it's the same how the physically-impaired do not like people to take pity on them, but instead just treat them normally.

i'm babbling because some things have been bugging me and it had bugged me couple of years ago and now it's back again, it just fustrates me because it's like anchoring me down. i know i should feel fortunate that it is not life-threatening and i should not complain so much, but when you know the inconvenience and the side effects of this, and the troublesome need of having to cure it just make me really upset.

i should stop thinking too much about it.

yuck yuck. terms are just two days away. GP and chinese. yuck yuck.

J1s EWW

2006-03-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry, but i don't like this little brats anymore! j1s are getting so irritating now!!!!!!! aish, can someone explain to me why do you need to clap and cheer and be so randomly rah-rah and in this case, extremely extra during mrs chan's speech. i could see that she was getting damn irritated. what's wrong with you guys man?
ok, maybe it's the orientation spirit, but during a boring speech? WTH

i'm sure there are more to come. i understand how the seniors feel when they were lamenting to us during my bintan trip. during breaks, the snatching of tables. i'm sure j1s will put their bags on the tables that we have already taken. wanna bet?

and there's a lot of random schools. not being octracizing, but i am sure there will sure be more interesting incidents awaiting me for the rest of the year.

be respectful J1s. 1st thing you ought to learn in ACJC.

Personality Test

2006-03-02T18:36:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

it is quite freaky when i think it is like 75% true.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

I am so Fine now

2006-02-26T14:45:00.000+08:00

ha, i realized how incoherent i was in my previous entry. well, it's a form of anguish release and after that entry, i felt more relaxed.

i am so touched when wendy sent me a sweet sms. *hugs* i can't wait for you to be back again. haha.. need our catching up sessions. when you come back, my terms should be over too. yay!

i have resolved to be a stay-home animal for the months to come. ok, if that ever works out. yes, i will *nod nod*

mdm said sth really funny the other day about our commonwealth essay. "how we write are so different from what we are in real life"

maybe i will post my essay up if it is short listed by the school. if not, it shall just remain confidential. i wrote "sweetest moment" which ha, was very different from all those heartwarming love stories. i just can't write romance. i'm a sucker for writing sweet stories, so i resolve to love watching chick flicks and listen to love songs that make me go soft in my knees.

2006-02-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

Do you not realize that nagging don’t work anymore. Especially when I switched off whenever you start. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Stop being so uptight and anal and irritating. Fuck. What a chore. I’ve been studying. Goddamnit. So if I am being an irritating bitchy cow in school, it is not my fault. It is the fucking stress I faced at home. Shit. I hate this entry. I’m so bitter and I can’t stand it. I need a fucking life. I am not some dumb ass who doesn’t know that As are ‘coming’ and for that matter, I’m facing terms soon. But stop making terms seem like the end of the world. I cannot handle stress, so stop piling up the stupid stress on me. FUCK!

there's a limit on how much stress and anger i can contain in me.

Term Exams. URGH

2006-02-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

i don't like exams. i don't like stress.

the horror of terms are haunting me. it is the last chance i have to prove to my dad that i can study and do well. so stress is piling to show some grades. i wish i have a bit more self-disciplined. i don't like myself.

my dad is not someone you want to fool with. my cousins always thought my mum was the scarier one until she stay with me for a week. so, when my dad flares up, i shiver

blah. angsty. bitterness building up.

on the lighter note, there was so much to worth OMG-ing yesterday. *bimbo*

zh got hospitalized cos of some concussion after being tripped during soccer. i thought it was quite freaky since he had some amnesia. i think i'll just cry and be so helpless if my friend faints in front of me.

then, there's other random stuff that i can't remember. short-term memory loss. damn it.

i want to go for arts night if not for my stupid econs tuition. but i cannot postpone it anymore cos i need help in J1 work. aish.

then i am not sure if i can go and watch night of laughter cos of interact in the morning till afternoon and not sure if my dad will be happy.

i'm like living for my dad. but i better keep it this way for the next 3 weeks or so, to make him pleased and show him that i have tried my best. "tried my best" the best excuse ever.

i mulu-ated myself today. i accidentally caused the fall of the class tags. ha. it was like class-tags committing suicide. but i swear it was an accident. then the new vp and some malay teacher glared and kinda scolded me. oh wellz. thank god i did not listen to jo and sat down. i faced the music and apologized. it was an accident. the class tags were sitting dangerously by the ledge.

All the efforts paid off.

2006-02-19T09:40:00.000+08:00

FOR (Fun-o-rama) was a blast.

the games stall people were fantastic and i got to know many people better.. for the better or the worse. and i realized that i've been too ignorant or one-sided in the way i viewed my classmates or i've learnt that some people aren't that bad afterall.

i think our games stall is one of the stall that brought in the most profits amongst all others due to how we advertise despite being just around the bend whereby no one can see us from the entrance, and apparently, it was quite hard to find. but the games is addictive and you see how the little boys keep coming back just to knock king-kong down. my most-said phrase of the day "you can prizes if you knock king-kong and/or his friends down. the animals on the landscape and mountain are worth different points. would you like to play" super-soaker is bloody popular and bloody messy but bloody fun. haha. we get shot at a lot of times and we kept screaming and shouting. i think we are more high than the kids who played. we were like "shoot polar bear. it's very unstable.. come on.. shoot them all down.. shoot the soldier into the river"

and king kong is KNOCKABLE! i'm serious. this little 12 or 13 year old kid actually won the bike home. i was out slacking with bonnie and we came back.. the bike was GONE! i'm so upset i didn't got to see the highlight. such dampening spirits. and it's actually more fun to stay in the stall away from the sun. away from the rain. and away from the people. away from the food. i smell like chocolate every time i walked into the hub. you smell chocolate before you see it. it's scary. i think the food people are really sick of fondue. and i'm proud of my class boys who dress up as king-kong under the blazing sun. woah sam was like drenched in sweat when he came back. his whole shirt was soaked! but it definitely bring in the crowds. haha. and he was most successful when he really scared amaria. lol. and bobby the shorter version of king-kong but i'm surprised he actually agreed to do it.

ah, and friends who came to FOR. zh, gerrad, sheryl, debo. liz, did you come? you never call me:(
then my dear classmates who put in so much effort. amaria, andrea, andre, jo, bonnie, matt, bobby, sam, ruth. and moniza and pearlly and aisyah who helped us with the whole landscape and the point system when you guys are supp to be in food. then we have the people who are supp to be in games but i never see them doing their shifts coz they claim they are tired after helping out in the food. like WTHHH!!! ok, everything's over now and i dun really want to talk about them. they just left a very bad impression for the rest of the year and that's it about working together with them. zh said that our polo tee's design was nice. hmm, you haven't seen better. lol! i dun mind the design if it's a poster. not a tee. it's too rectangular due to the borders. but ah well, i've paid 14 dollars. but i think everyone was pretty amazed by our replica of the FOR shoes, which jo and aisyah were being such nice souls, helping us paint the whole of friday. it's not pretty pretty. but definitely worth the keep. i've so many FOR collectibles. it's quite..

we had a foursome (muahaha) dinner at swensens after all was over and well. we took the second-floor which was monopolized with acsians.. jun's friends on one and gen's class on the other. quite hilarious how we made so much noise. i think we were pretty noisy for four people cos we laugh damn loudly. but it was funny how bonnie does her imitation shows and amaria being as usual, sarcastic. but we toned down quite a bit and started talking about random classmates and the things we just don't like about it and how our class is so dis-united and we know there's nothing much we can do about it. think of it, we have matt, bobby and sam having their boys night-out cos we know there were some friction. luckily we din join them or we will feel constricted. then the food gang and food-game-wannabes doing their stunts at BK and us, in-betweens or others (so insulting) having great time at swensens. we were like "we need to spurge" and we did. haha. we just talked and i just realized how wrong i was about some people and i felt so guilty.

it's just like how when bonnie and jo stayed over on friday night and we had almost similar chats about the friends we had and the problems we face in class.. the social conflicts that we deal with. and how we realized that although matt can be a pain in the ass sometimes cos of his remarks, but he is actually very driven and will go all out to get things done and how he moves to and fro from food and games to see everything running efficiently and as well as the earn-money-by-taking-pics-with-king kong idea.

i'm not someone who opens up easily and i would be guarded unless i trust you.. which explains why i only tell bonnie and jo some stuff this year. so when i actually tell you what i think, i really think highly of the friendship. wahhh, haha, so honoured yeah?

and i like having catching-up sessions with people and i'll actually try to squeeze in time for them. people that i haven't met for ages or people though i see them everyday, i dun get to talk to them, just hi and bye all the time :(

but i need a break from all the buzz n actually getting down to work. terms are half a month away and to my parents, it's you show the grades or you die. stress. sigh. die. blah.

Happy Valentines

2006-02-14T20:08:00.000+08:00

haha. i feel loved today despite being single..

ahh back. i just got scolded for being on the computer all the time, neglecting my studies (dun that happen all the time)

valentines in school been quite a breeze. barely no lessons. haha. love is in the air. history was hilarious. free stand-up comedy. 40minutes of pure laughter.

well, jo and i have a nickname for someone: parrot.. some of you will know who he/she is.

valentines just remind me of this song .. shall dedicate to all my readers (:

MLTR- Take me to your heart

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

(Chorus)
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
(Chorus)

i can be a sucker for ballads and love songs and MLTR is ultimate classic. it's what you hear when you are in primary school and you still love it now. as compared to BSB or westlife or A1. to think i was an a crazy a1 fan. sigh.

Fun? o-rama?

2006-02-11T16:40:00.000+08:00

every jc2 (especially) in ac has the same sentiments: i never knew fun-o-rama was so much work. i want to be the one paying to eat and play in fun-o-rama.

sigh. but too bad. no such hopes.

i was just reading huat's blog about how their class abort the idea of a food stall. dunno the exact details, but i'm definitely thankful we managed to find good sponsors, great deals for our chocolate and fruits. haha. and hopefully m'sia mashmellows.

to think about it, i think everyone in class contributed in one way or other. calling up people hoping to get sponsors and basically just trying to keep our stalls a success. *cross fingers*

yesterday conversation with bonnie set me thinking. at first it was the whole materialistic superficial view about me and my future. the need to conform. i still take my stand. i believe that in singapore, it's not that easy to say i want a break from this competitive world, i'm gonna take a step back. do something i like and live a life of my own. but i think it's not that easy to pursue something that you like or simply just volunteering all your life. volunteering requires you to have a sum of money in hand. either you are born rich or you have to work for these money. doesn't that put you in the catagory: study so that you earn enough money for a living. hmm, i think even if you are doing something you like, say music, unless you are aware of the competive nature of life, you will just be left behind if you dont improve.
singapore is not a welfare state. damn. we can't leech off people.

i really don't think i can just say: i enjoy arts. i want to do something arts related. there's always this warning sign in me that tells me to be more realistic.
but ha. i might just follow my instincts.

and yeah, bonnie was just analysing my character. which i think was very accurate. and her analysis of jo was quite accurate as well. and yeah, i told her about her character. i suddenly realize despite only knowing each other for half a year.. as in getting close due to PW and stuff, we pretty much know each other quite well and have learnt to accomodate and compromise.

yeah and so it was really quite future-focussed. then out of the blue, bonnie asked me to check out this girl's blog. and another revelation.

what's this paper-chasing when you are not even sure if you are around tomorrow? it is a bit morbid and sometimes you think why do such things happen to people. why give someone hopes and then destroy it again?
this year, i got to know many things that i dont know previously. maybe i'm less sheltered? it's the vulnerability of life. you might not see someone you are so used to seeing everyday.

ANGST

2006-02-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

ANGST! ANGST!

aish!!! ok, actually i'm feeling better now after telling bonnie about this whole long day. breathe in. breath out. i think i was very very very very patient today. i walked 4 times to dover market without snapping at anyone when i came back, despite them thinking i was walking super slowly and had to be asked to hurry up. stupid ppl. but on the fine high side, banner painting's going quite well. willy wonkis look hella hot. life-size man. it's cool to have art ppl around. moniza can really draw. her king kong is like OOOLALALA.

everyone should just patronize our stall.

fundraising on monday and tuesday again. we are selling ikea swedish meatballs. hmm, sometimes, i wonder why do we have to fund raise when we have 1000 to spend. please. we are gonna have like thousands of meatballs. what if they dun sell? argh. damn scared. then it's jelly hearts. another what if. like bonnie said, there's fund-raising fatigue. i have stopped walking through the canteen and cooping myself in the NL for fear of having to buy stuff.

today's pep talk for CCAAB ppl by david tan was rather insightful. for once, a meaningful pep talk. you think it's difficult to raise 750,000 bucks? it is actually really easy. singapore is owned by ac boys. many ac boys are willing to sign a cheque and ta. we get the money. but why did we go through so much to raise this sum of money? the whole point of fun o rama is to get people into AC. the human traffic. we can't possibly be patronizing stalls of our friends. we need outsiders to actually enjoy the work we placed in our stalls. the time we spent to publicize our stalls. the effort we put in calling up for sponsors. the money we contribute to get the whole two stalls moving.

personally i think that made alot of sense. i could give tickets to my sister so that she can bring her friends to enjoy themselves at fun o rama. but then i dun think they ever wanna come. so for those who are still contemplating whether to come, just come. i mean you can just not buy tickets and appear. see a game that you are really interested, then buy tickets. or simply, just share a ticket with someone. trust me, with 10 dollars, you can buy a few games. while at least you can play our game at least 3 times.
yes and i'm referring to you. you and you! lol

it's scary to just think about the effort you put in and no one comes. scary scary scary.

having a talk with bonnie regarding singapore education, conformists, business-like education and bleh, factory students.

Decent Post.. finally?

2006-02-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

actually i should take away the decent part. not sure how this post will go, but the 't' letter on my laptop is being an arse. you need to press so hard just to have the letter showing and 't' is such a often-used letter. ok, i'm whining....

who can tell the difference b/w australia and m'sia milo powder? esp when it's just the milo powder and the rest is sponsored milo. it will just be too sweet to know the difference. i bring some milo in a plastic countainer and you tell me the difference. don't try to be sophisticated when you are not, esp when you drink milo in school all the time and you love the milo. i'm sure the milo powder is from aust huh?

fun-o-rama really brings out the ugly sides of some people or some unseen profiles of a person is more clearly reflected in the way they do things. i'm not saying i'm an especially helpful person, but they don' seem to cooperate. i get the ipod nano at a relatively okay discounted price but no one tells me if it's confirmed they want it. and they complain to me that they are not sure if it gets delivered to us on time. but the point is that nothing is confirmed and you don't expect me to find out so much, then decides you guys don't want it?

well, at least i'm asking my uncle for trees.

hmm, i can't wait for fun-o-rama to be over and done with.. it's getting too draggy!!!

but good thing is i get to miss sch practically the whole day everyday cos we are gonna sell tickets at Singapore poly.

then we have crosscountry after that.. tiring tiring tiring.

looking forward to next week.. it should be quite slack since we are preparing for fun-o-rama..

what should i bake on v-day?

2006-02-04T14:41:00.000+08:00

Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used.

1. having nice, heart-to-heart chats with my close friends/cousins

2. knowing the things you do are being appreciated by someone

3. having accomplished something.. the sense of satisfaction

4. 1st time experience

5. short breaks when you are just so sick of school

i want bonnie, jo, zhaohan, jun and michelle to do this (:

A puddle of water, a broken heart

2006-01-31T15:36:00.000+08:00

'A puddle of water and a broken heart'

I realise the phrase may not seem to have the slightest ounce of relevance to love. You would be surprised at the ignorance people show in life. What is relevance to one? All we do is categorise 'things' into boxes - one would look at it and scoff, deciding it drops into 'irrelevance'.

People are so wrong, yet we are afraid to say we're sorry. Even worse - we utter it once and we can't seem to stop saying it. Overuse of the word only goes to show that we are willing to accept it as the ultimate weapon for solving problems.

I lost my chance years ago, now I can only sit on the sidelines and watch. I was ignorant. He was the dream guy. In reality I saw an average male struggling to live up to expectations and lead a normal life. I think I was still on the sidelines at that time too, but in a front row seat – I've since shifted to the back.

I was introduced as a 'friend' to his girlfriend of the time. While I could tolerate most of his partners, this one irked me from the beginning. Let's just say her female instincts were on full blast, whereas his male instincts never seemed to be in tune. I thought she was going to be like the others. At one point in life, we underestimate the power of one person.

He moped around after she left. I had a few options, but I chose to let him be for a few weeks. Originally I believed that I could pop up after he recovered and everything would be fine. We'd continue being friends, and maybe then I'd have a chance at something beyond that with her out of the picture. Little did I know.

I happily reappeared by his side, to find him healed. I was introduced as the best friend. He introduced her as the girlfriend. I understood, I would only be raised to the level of best friend. Even with her out of the picture, there would always be another one.

Disheartened, my departure was speedy from his life, much to his confusion. His girlfriends were always more sensitive than he was. She invited me out to coffee. There was no way I could refuse, because it wasn't over the phone, she confronted me face to face.

"You wanted to brag about your relationship with him?"

She merely smiled gently and shook her head.

"A puddle of water and a broken heart."

"Sorry?" I asked in confusion.

"Can you see the similarity in the two?"

I answered with my silence and ignorance.

"A puddle of water waits as does a broken heart. Someone might come along and step in the puddle; someone might decide to ignore it; someone may take a mop and gather the water up. A broken heart really waits for someone to pick up the pieces."

Her words hit me, as it dawned on me that she had picked up his broken heart. Her hard work had won his heart back. Where was I when he was recovering?

Ignorance.

Ear Drums Bursting

2006-01-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

muahahaha. i just came back from CNY dinner dunno-number-how-many at some restaurant. the food was normal. seriously! chinese food are so standard, esp chinese food catering to big round tables. yusheng, big pengchai thingy, duck, chicken, noodles.. it's so easily memorized. but it was fun.. the older people were karaokeing like crazy. and now i'm happy back home on my computer, with a full stomach

andre, bonnie and i went visiting at jo's place. jo lives at some really ulu-ated place. her nearest leisure is this large patch of grass. there's no houses apart from her condo. it's really the other side of singapore. talks so much of being a opposition party GRC. it's really quite bad. but i like her condo. it's so huge and comfy.

ha, then they cabbed over to my place for more bridge games. and talking sessions. at least it made CNY day 2 more interesting and memorable.

they have all watched memoirs! i want to watch it!!!! i'm whining and i don't careeeee. haha. prolly watch it with wendy pretty soon.

one more day before school starts. urgh! sucks sucks sucks. now there's nothing to look forward anymore. march holidays are dumb cos we will be studying for block exams. and yeah, that's about it. ok maybe fun-o-rama. since it's supposed to be FUN-o-rama.

Chinese New Year Eve

2006-01-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

scrumptious food. just came back from my reunion dinner and i enjoyed myself. my uncle can really cook. haha. good food makes a mood change. i'm feeling so hyper now. i am actually looking forward to cny. not so much about the whole festive mood. i dunno. but holidays are always worth looking forward too. esp, holidays with advantages. ehem. bigger, fatter bank account.

there's always so much i want to blog about over the past few days, but i just didn't bother to. and now i'm blank on what i should blog.

bonnie, andre, gayle and i had this really weird conversation about king kong. haha. it was ultra dirty and imaginative. we were talking about how king kong can impregnate a girl, and how the girl will split before anything happens. ok, it was hmm.. overly descriptive and definitely will not go through the censory board. i wanna watch that lee an show.. the gay couple movie, but it's for goodness sake, R21. guess pirated cds are the solution. hehe. and and, i haven't gotten the chance to watch memoirs. i really wanna catch it but it's so ex to catch it these few days. my sis watched it today and she is totally awed by the show. i think that when you read a book, you really want to watch the movie and see how characters live up to your imagination despite knowing that you might actually be disappointed.

and i had nice chats with bonnie and jo the past week. and some therapy sessions with liz. hehe.

i am actually enjoying sch.. being really optimistic about it. although there are pissifying moments attacking you one after the other, but at the end of the day, it's a one fine day and life goes on. i am actually enjoying econs now.. like AT LAST! and integration is bearable. history sbqs and NAR are quite interesting and chinese.. haha, as usual, slack. yeah, i guess the stress level is still pretty low. and work hasn't piled up yet. or should i be proud of myself and say i've been doing tutorials. YAY!

ok, such a boring entry. sigh. bye. happy chinese new year.

What's with me these days?

2006-01-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

i was just re-reading some of my recent entries and one similarity: filled with angst, sarcarsm and irritation. it's either things haven't been going my way or i'm just worrying too much.

but i'm feeling rather relaxed right now.. into the CNY festive holiday mood. i can't wait for thursday to be over and done with.. then it's fri.. celebrations, then CNY eve, then hongbaos and new clothes and good food. and wendy will be back on fri. wanna hear about her trip and of course, pictures.

i can't wait for fun-0-rama now that i managed to sell some tickets, thanks to my relatives. haha, and liz, i still need your business. lol.

i'm more involved in the games and like FINALLY we see some headstart in the games stall. think our idea is quite innovative (ok, or should i say, dolly's idea) cos there's a theme to our game instead of some boring, pasar malam game stall. haha.

but the working in the committee can be quite pressurizing cos we have two loggerheads. they are like oil and water, and ironically their names look pretty similar. can feel the tension when we are discussing.. talk about the actual work.
bonnie, jo (i think she's with us) and I are gonna be buying some weapons. haha. so fun. ok, i'm high thinking about the game. i want to try the game out.

math time assigment: 3-D trigo and numerical methods. kill me.

2006-01-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

time to update before i ditch him.
alot of thoughts were actually racing through my condensed head but i just couldn't find time or energy or discipline to sit on the computer and write a decent entry. sch's been good. been learning quite a bit. been scared off by valarie wilson this morning when she kinda reminded us how 10 months later, we will be cut off from misery. yet, i'm thinking positive. i'm not gonna repeat the scary, sarcastic, speech she gave us cos it's like "sigh. yes we know. damn. that sounds like my mum"

but this morning, some incident just happened and i just need a corner to clear my thoughts and see how i should go about solving the issue. which i doubt it's that easy since it's bugging me for the past 2-3 years.

i never know how to communicate with her. i don't know why our relationship descend to such a horrid state. it's worse than acquatiances i meet in sch whom i say 'hi and bye' to, cos i barely talk to her. and it's not that i don't want to, it's more like i don't know how to. i've been asked to try, and yes, of cos i tried. i've been trying for the past 3 years, but things just remained stale. whenever, i tried talking to her, she'd give me this scowl or un-interested look like i'm some asshole and she should not waste her time talking to me. and even if i dig in further and ask more questions, she'll irritably answer a one-word question. it gets fucking irritating but i just let the whole matter simmer and try again. i am still trying but i think i've reached the bottleneck. i am now so confused of who she is despite her being someone really close to me. i don't know how she's doing, i don't know what she wants to do, i don't know where are her futures, and even if i know, i know it from a secondary source, from them who will just leak in some news for me. but i don't understand: why can't she just open up and talk to me? it's not that hard considering people talk to me in sch, i talk to people in school. i can even start a conversation with a stranger, but why can't i make her talk to me?

she never initiates, i always did. the other she has been asking me why this happen. and i really don't know. i REALLY don't know. i'm ignorant and not because i chose to be, because i can't help it. maybe if she can tell me why, things would be better.

but today something made me almost flared up when she was so rude to T. she doesn't seem to appreciate what T has been doing for us and how much she has sacrificed for us. yes, she can talks to T pretty decently, but she always has this wall around her that even T has to think of ways just to please her. everyone just feels so pressured around her. and i don't freaking understand why? she is so young. she is supposed to be the listening party and not the commander. that's why i was so mad cos she just don't seem appreciative. maybe i'm not the kind who would treat her as a princess, could that be a reason?

Friends? Foes?

2006-01-18T17:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes relationships with friends are so much harder to deal with than intimate relationships.

i was talking to liz about her and as well as our outlooks and problems faced with friends/acquantiances.
i like what liz said about how everyone should move on instead of staying in their mg days. mg days, were the days of the past. very enjoyable but un-real as we were so un-exposed. so, if we cling on to the belief that all of us are still sec4s, there'll be no end to it.
i love talking to liz and yeah, despite us being in different schools and having our different bunch of friends, when we meet, we still have an endless fray of topics to attack. and we are not the kind of friend who talks on msn.. we often seem stuck when we are on msn huh? but when we meet for dinners, the conversations just keep coming and i'm very glad that you are the bestest friend and closest confidant in our clique.
yup, i totally love it when you said that i can come and talk to you whenever i'm troubled as you will still be the same liz.
truthfully i know you've changed and i've changed as well. but it's really fortunate that despite all these, when we meet each other, we are still the sitting partners in 4a2 and we remain sec4-likes with more matured and ehemuglyehem language.

i'd say i'm not a someone trying-hard-to-be-nice. definitely, i'd like most people to see the sweet, gentle, loving, understanding side of seeyun. but i always think that sweetness brings u that far.. if you continue to be nice and loving, you will just to tiring yourself and worse off, you'll be seen as fake by some people.
sometimes, it's just so hard to be the 'perfect person' you hope people can perceive you as. and i'm sure everyone strives to be the popular person. but for me, i'd just like to be myself. self-centred: me. myself and I.
i admit i can curse quite abit and i know some people in my class simply can't stand it. and like what liz said yesterday, and "i'll purposedly curse in front of her". nah, i don't think i'm that evil and i dont curse aloud a lot.
and i know i can be quite critical in the way i see people. i know it's my flaw. i'm trying to change. trying to tone down and be less caustic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

alritey, should stop talking about myself. anyway, we got to meet our junior class. it's such a small class of 17 and we gotta share junior class with ahblue. hmm, i'm not exactly happy about it: 56:17. do you own calculation. and we can just imagine how it's gonna be monopolized and maybe the rest of us can take the randoms. it's so easy to see the divide: the enthu ppl who can't wait to have a party with the blues and the indifferent ones who just wait for the randoms. so as much as i like the j1s, i'm not looking forward for the 1st SJI.
oh oh oh.. the very hot mixed st margs girl is in my junior class. she's really pretty, but not sure abt personality though..

haha, it's hilarious btw to hear my og mates complaining about how their class is practically swarmed by foreigners. haha. it's very sad lar. but to be honest, most sci best classes are like that. it's like the 'duh' thing. but i supposed it shouldnt be that bad cos scholars ain't that bad afterall. i haven't been in a class with lots of scholars so i can't comment. but haha, they are really good study motivators. period. and there's a sconer in my og. hmm, but their combi is so different from the tradition sconers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

talking about scholars, yeah he was nice to call me just now to apologize for not being able to attend the welcome party (yes i insist in calling it a party, instead of welcome tea. so what?)
but what's done is done. you can't just tell me you're sorry and expect nothing to happen. and i'm not the one to make the decisions. the two teacher i/cs are pissed so i supp.. good luck?

today's welcome party was so overwhelming. 70 people interested and signed up??!?!!? i tried scaring them with the commitment, don't treat it as a crutch, we are the most active club around. haha, but it just didn't work. damn it. it's scary to be in charge of 70 people. oh well, i'm sure ppl will start streaming out once their sports ccas are finalized. *cross fingers*. i just want about 30 active members and i'm more than ecstatic

2006-01-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!

Psychology

83%

Journalism

83%

Sociology

75%

Philosophy

67%

Theater

67%

Engineering

58%

Anthropology

58%

English

58%

Linguistics

50%

Dance

42%

Biology

42%

Art

42%

Mathematics

33%

Chemistry

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Unexciting Life

2006-01-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

my life has been so mundane and routinal. wake up. school. home. wake up. school. home. and the cycle repeats itself.

well, but to think on the bright side, sch's been a great place for entertainment. like bimbotic, bitchy, retarded, mindless, airheads kind of enjoyment. sigh. who are the friends i know man? lol..

i need to lament. my friends have been bullying me. child abuse. big bullies. i protest. i am not a pushover. put to jail. yes, ha. 1st you guys went to eat chocolate fondue w/o me then you guys criticize my bag/sweater/pencil case. !@$#%^%$$ haha, but we must eat fondue on fri man. please???? anw, back to these peeps, we have such a fun time during PE today. wah. for the 1st time. we spent most of it picking up 'balls' and laughing till our sides and chest hurts.

now i need to rant. i think my writing style really sucks these days. and i'm sorry. i can help it. some people just pissify me.

it is such a drag that i got to spoonfeed someone of the same intellectual level, same age as me. it's so irritating how i got to tell her what to do STEP BY STEP like literally. and she'll ask me questions. not all at one go. but one qn for every sms. what a bloody waste of sms lah. the worst: she expects people to reply promptly to her smses but she seldom replies to mine, so i'm often unsure whether i've sent the sms to her or have she done the things told of her to do. WAH. (ok, seeyun shan't curse. thinking about it just makes my blood boil). today, i sms-ed her regarding how her preparation was going and she never reply me. LIKE don't care. don't bother about me. luckily her class was pretty near mine and i managed to get hold of her.

and now i understand why she did not make it into most interviews she went for. 1st council then ogl. she prepares for all the interviews but never seem to go through most of it, esp those requiring of leadership. but to think how she had to be guided throughout gave enough evidence on how she would lead. she's the class president and she tries very hard to be a good one. but the thing is, her class is still.. hmm. i think her class tends to find her irritating sometimes cos she tries too hard to be an angel.

and it's really sad that she is my good friend. she is good as a friend, but definitely needs improvement as a workmate. and i am torn on how to advise her because i don't want to come across as overly empowering and yeah, throwing my authority around. afterall, she is in my close clique of friends. therefore it is not very nice.
G says that she has changed a lot six months ago. i did not believe her. cos either i was still indifferent or i'm just ignorant. today if you asked if she changed, yes is my answer. i think it's more than just a physical change but more of a change in the way she thinks and how she acts.

haha. huat, i shall be an angel and shan't say no more. yes, i admit i'm speaking ill behind her back. but if i am given the choice and i've carefully analyze the pros and cons of confronting her, i would have just advised her that i'm quite unhappy.
(like how i voiced out regarding ed board meeting to bonnie and we are friends now? hmm, are we? considering you always bully me. HUH?)

i'm not someone who holds grudges. maybe after today, when everything's cool and back to normal, i would regret posting this entry

i should not tell her because:
-she is my very good friend
-she would think that i shouldn't be doing that to her since i'm a good friend
-it is just another 6 months i should just bear with it
-she still contributes in a way or two

i should tell her because:
-since we work as a team, there should be some kind of efficiency and assurance in a team
-she should be more sensitive towards people

oh well. mind bogging.. i should just go and work on hist tutorials.

Just Rant

2006-01-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

yeah i know i have a stupid password. at least you guys can remember!

this weekend had been quite stay-home, doing some homework, stoning, reading (trash and non-trash), keeping in touch with peeps.

and i come to a conclusion.. (ok, sorry, this is gonna be random but it's insightful. huh!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the world is really small. everyone's lives are intertwined in such a way that you can be so egoistic to say that the world revolves around you and you are the queen of the universe.
it's scary how everyone will know everyone and by coincidence, your A group of friends will know your B's group of friends' friend.. yeah, you get what i mean.

and it's quite freaky how people in sch esp can get hold of my number. randoms called me to ask about school stuff and i was wth. how did you get my number?

thus some privacy need to be kept. i need my space.

yeah, another realization was quite inspiring. ha. i think maybe all of us should just sit down and ponder how lucky we are. at least for me, i feel that i am so blessed that i take things for granted.

not like my parents shower me with gifts every now and then or i'm so well-to-do that i have a driver to chuffeur me around or i'm such a genius that i can get through all exams without studying. that'd be most people's definition of happiness and blessing. and for me, yeah, most of the time, i'd think this way.

but i was just reading some inspiration stories and not that it had a tremendous impact on me.. like how this angel bulb in my brain lights up, but it sets me thinking.

i have been very sheltered throughout my 17 years of life. i haven't gone through any major accidents or events and even if i met with something serious, it would always be cushioned by my parents or simply by external factors. pri school was like.. blurry images in my head cos i was just blindly keeping the days going. sec school was alright.. made some friends for life and hopefully the friendship remains strong even as we are scattered. mg was a school where most people are pretty innocent and lack indendence and real life skills. we certainly play alot but we never got to see the other side of singapore.

jc was supposed to be the turning point, but in acjc, we are still very sheltered and people i know are quite similar in terms of ideas, values, family backgrounds. although i see alot more people and know alot more things, but i never will get the chance to know them personally. i definitely would hope for the chance to do so, but sometimes when you don't click means you don't.

oh yeah, i think i should keep in mind that i have parents who keep me wealthy in all aspects, i have friends that just put a smile on my face, i know alot of different people who i can seek help if a problem arises, and the new batch of j1s whom i hope to get to know better.

i realized that time passed really really fast. tomorrow's the 16th and it had some significance to some people.
yeah, wen!!!! haha, you are finally getting into the working gear with your power suits. this job aint gonna be easy but try to have time to rest, yeah? well, at least you'll be going to NZ soon and that's a nice place to relax
then to aaron, peishan and hong hong, you guys are going to have so much fun in NZ. yeah, i hope aaron's sis can just give me a 7-day MC so i can fly there with them. yeah, a MC from australia huh? but it's gonna be just so fun. bungy! urgh. aaron is pretty scared since he's doing it all alone and he is afraid his fear might ruin his trip. but i'm sure bungy though scary is really really a life-time experience.

alritey, i'm going off to chinatown and get inspired by the CNY festive mood

The song she dedicates

2006-01-14T17:14:00.000+08:00

The stage she titles home,
And the mic as her team-mate.
Sparkling eyes of hers roam,
Spotting the angel of faith.

With gentleness she sang;
With simplicity she wrote.
Her pleasant voice they rang,
As she vibrates right on note.

Climaxing was nearing;
The lights darkens in its dim.
Her angel faith he’s hearing,
Of her final words to him;

The song she dedicates.

~~~~~~
yesterday was a great fine day. the 1st day in a week that we have fine weather. but i like rain. i love rainy days when i don't have to be out getting wet. rainy days are cool days. singapore's sunny weather is way too hot for comfort sometimes.

haha, i locked my blog. though i know it's pretty easy to break in. but who would be so desperate to read my blog in the 1st place huh? i just need to sift out people so that it can remain read-able to the 'chosen' ones. (: *roll eyes*

Adjusting to School Gear

2006-01-11T19:15:00.000+08:00

this week is the 1st official week of j2 and well, my most terrible day of the week (no free periods and end at bloody 4.30) was a public holiday.
now, tuesday is officially the most-hated school day.

anyway, sch's been quite fine. my catching up was not that bad, except for history. 2 ih outlines for lectures and 2 ih outlines for tutorial. wth. by fri. yeah, history is a killer. people should not do history lest they have an immense interest for it. i'd just say, i don't mind history.

had an og outing yesterday. quite a failure in terms of attendance. but i PERSONALLY feel that even if an alternative date was chose, maybe 1-2 more people will join, the rest will still be indifferent? here's the analogies: the receptive og mates are nets, big holes all ready to welcome change and opening up to people, then there are the valves (the bio practicals, osmosis-diffusion things yeah?): can be welcoming sometimes as they only have small but many pores. but well, at least at least the people who went should have enjoyed each other's company. ahahaha.. my company in particular. muahahaha.

andre wasn't all too happy when we watched 'derailed' cos of the abit sex scenes and abit vulgarities. but there's a reason why the movie is nc-16 and not m18 or r21, i'm sure these guys can take it. they are only a year younger, and in some cases, a few months. but, that movie was not too bad. jennifer aniston looked a bit shagged though, but still pretty. i didn't know what the whole movie was about.. hmm. wait (i think i should talk too much about it in case i become an irritating spoiler and get dissed by some people)

jo was right. j2 makes you swear alot. i've been swearing alot more than i have in j1. must be the pressure to do well huh? but i swore not just because of school work. i've resigned to fate and just trying to finish my tutorials before any tutorial classes (my 2006 resolution.. been keeping to it so far). but it's more of the social sphere that gets my swearing. we are j2s, going to be 18. have abit of responsibility or simply a sense of initiative. you are assigned to a job/role and you know you are supp to perform it, so stop telling me you can't make it cos it's just very fucking irritating for everyone to work around your schedule. you should not be an over-achiever in the first place when you know you definitely cannot handle it. you cannot be in 3 places at one time lest you have clones. apparently you dont have so i rarely see you around during meetings and that just piss everyone off cos you take your job so lightly. WTF.

yeah, i know relax. but this rage and angst been building up in my body for more than 6 months. i've endured long enough and enough's enough. i've been just forgetting him as a part of us. and honestly, it's faster and more efficient working with the current team than with the extra him though he could be a helper. oh more of a destructor.
and i dont give a damn if he ever chance upon my blog and i subconciously hope he'll and see how much trouble he gives to not just me.. but the other members and the teachers. let's see if he can make it on next wed. let's just sit around and see.

who the hell has three CCAs and hold positions in all three of them.

seeyun is not a saint. seeyun needs to swear. or seeyun will saturate and split. but that doesn't make seeyun a sinful girl. =p

My speciality

2006-01-08T10:36:00.000+08:00

last year, liz and i were secret agents of FBI, prying out information of our dear friends. and we are never out of job due to our high effieciency and tact. and well, we still managed to keep the information we know much of a secret, but for some reason, it just leaked.

last night, jo and i had a un-glam version of FBI agents. no sunglasses, no black leather trenchcoat, no walkie-talkie, just the msn and the internet. should be call ourselves the president and c0-pres for KPC? we were just randomly doing some stupid things, disgusting ourselves, giving ourselves un-needed goosebumps, but it was all fun. we further consolidated our point of view of some people.
to be in jo words, some people can just be "taken in small doses"
and silly me kept scrolling down and reading more, just for the sense of 'satisfaction' that my impression of it was right all along.

maybe bonnie can join us one day and we can be the threesome awesome presidents of KPC (that sounds wrong :p)

SKELLINGTON!!!! RAWR! =p

2006-01-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

so yesterday officially marks the end of fun and joy and the beginning of school,exams,stress.

well, but i just have to say that i simply love my og mates. they are indeed a fantastic bunch of kids to work with and to have fun with. they are so sweet. haha. they just make my day. =) =) =) *jumping around the house* (get what you mean by high?)

often when you went through a chapter in life, you would associate it with the "best you ever had" or the "worst ever". similarly in my 1 year of school in acjc, i had many high, worth reminiscing moments. first was orientation06, then Bintan, then CCAAB, and now orientation06. one proved more fabulous than the other.

I would say orientation06 would be the main highlight of my 2 years in JC even if you were to ask me 12 months from now, probably because there's nothing to look forward for the next few months

i would believe every OGL would write a totally different account on their experience in orientation and i believe andre would have something different as well, despite us being in skellington. he's more into the games and ra-ra-ing and motivating the kids, but me.. haha. what did i do? well, i think it's not so much of me thinking about what i have done, but for others to say how I fared. but one thing i know i was super bad in was dancing. yeah, never hear of a two-left-feet girl teaching dance steps, yeah?

looking at those bubbly J1s in my OG, it definitely reminded me of the apprehesive period in my J1 life as well. although i chose RJ as my 1st choice, i regretted it and i was just praying that I didn't get in. and duh, i didn't. but it was mixed feelings as you hear so much about ACJC and they are all negative.

But i love orientation and that was a major turning point that changed my mindset.

some of them in my OG are smart peeps, yeah, so it again reminded me of how after getting back my results and faring well enough to get into RJ/HC arts course, i just refused to conform to my parents' wishes. and it's like that all the time
-i went to MG instead of RG
-i really wanted to do arts instead of sci since i was in sec3 and thus, i really did not pay much attention during science subjects which i realized was such a waste. but at the same time, i know i would be made to do science if i get my 1s. (life is full of contradictions)
-yeah, and i chose back AC instead of RJ based on my big fish small pond/small fish big pond.

but honestly, the pond is not that small and i don't think i'm that a big fish, cos i'm lazy. bad habit that ought to be changed ASAP!!!
yet, i was given a lot more opportunities that i could have attained in another JC apart from academics.
besides why should i travel so far, changing two buses to get home when AC is just 3 bus-stops away/walking distance? i would still stick to my ideology like how i did in sec1. and i think the only way to prove it is to show it on paper. literally.

but then again (if the og mates are ever reading this) I think different people have different ideals. you see how so many people try to appeal to top JCs, just for the fame of it. my cousin said this to me when i was choosing my JCs, that prestige in work life counts. i agree to it but i don't think that AC has that bad a prestige and yes, of course, not forgetting, seeyun's ideology.

like i said to joyce, "i love AC, but i hate JC". ACJC should not be in the same sentence.

~~~~~~~

i realized that the way i blog is really. tsk. tsk. tsk.

i write whatever that comes in mind. I think my brain doesnt work in compartments, i bet my brain is like this string of viens that are all knotted up and waiting to be un-tangled. i can link things up even if they have the slightest connection

~~~~~~~

alritey, back to reading ECO-SOLO. cramming again (there i go again. what a vicious cycle)

2006-01-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

Brooding clouds speed on hidden wings
Bear the pain and sorrow swift on the winds
Thunder whips and cracks on shattered dreams
Life sways and turns on a single whim
Howling gales scream and weep
Choice of the child falls into the deep
Crimson sheets fall from Mother Sky
Single word from bleeding lips: Why?

=================================

Single shriek glides on silent wind
Sorrow echoes, fade and dim
Darkness covered with sheets of white
Hark, the baying of wolves in the night!
Son of shadow cloaked in robes of light
Evil hidden is not evil wiped
Scars seared on blighted flesh
Blood seeps through wire mesh
Death rides on swiftest steeds
Bringing news of a fallen weed
Sands of time flow and shift
But scars of time fail to fade and ease...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

before i slept last night, a blot of inspiration kept me awake longer as I just have to write it down before i forget the next morning. (which explains why i slept so late last night)

inspiration before you sleep huh?

Aaron and I touched on this 'creative thinking before you sleep" topic before. haha. and he was telling me how Albert Einstein used to come out with all his creative/innovative ideas before he sleeps. haha, maybe i can be a next inventor or great entrepreneur, with strong hopes on my before-dozing-off ideas. btw, i still think my "too much for a 26" was fabulous. =p

on a slightly random note, i kinda regret not studying hard for Amath during my sec days. AHH. regret. i hate regretting about something. It just makes you so fustrated knowing that you cannot turn back time. How i wish i was back in sec4 and really mugging for math. I kinda realized how important math was and how easy it is to score if you practice hard enough for As. but this comes with commitment and motivation. often i feel so tired and irritated after doing a few questions because I don't understand and don't know how to go about answering a question. and all my concepts are surface-based. In all my math exams, i never had a question that i scored full-marks for... seriously. i either managed to just passed/just failed by picking up marks from random places. THIS REALLY GOT TO CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i feel that my A level subjects are so redundant especially my more Arts subj unless i major in it. a major in history?!?! huh. and be a history teacher?!? huh.huh. teaching is definitely not my cup of tea. I can just imagine myself scolding my students for being so stupid. so i suppose i've to work infinity times hard for econs and math this year. urgh. and hopefully pull my borderline grades to a decent passing grade.

A levels just seem to real despite all the fun I had in OG camp. because OG camp just reminds you that you are a OGL, you are a J2, in 11 months time, you'll be doing your A levels, and A levels determine you float or drown, A levels basically determine your future (A level cert is freaking useless without a degree and you get no where with a O level cert).

WoW! and great, i just scared myself.

First Decent Post For 2006

2006-01-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

OG Camp was really fun. at least i think i've made a good impression. don't i always do? muahahaha. well, my OG, skellington is a fun bunch of peeps to be with. they are guai aka not rowdy so it gets things running so much faster. YAY! maybe they are not. i'm not sure. but let's hope they continue their good behaviour for the next two days. well, i don't mind them sabo-ing me, but don't go running around like monkeys on the loose.

I think i'm such a mother or to put it in better words, sister. eh, i'm kinda protective of people younger than me. like their welfare, etc *blushes* the most recent incident was how i was so angry with my sis for getting lost in myer, australia. my sis. urgh. haha, i always think ppl younger than me have no common sense. and to think that my sis is already 15, i can trust her. but. haha. erm. NO! sometimes she just doesn't know how to look after herself. when she was found again, i was so angry that i blasted at her.. i think i used some profanity and more in my head. lol. and btw, i cried as well.

yeah, but my OG group is hmm.. so far so good. looking forward to the next two days. yuppie

KYOFU!!

orientation was fun overall despite all the hectic preparations, but looking at the faces on the j1s, it was worth it. and we get to play, so double-worth-it. but i always come back feeling so quiet and empty cos the atmosphere in the college was really great and loud.

i came back yesterday feeling hella tired. and there were still stuff to do at home. i was slacking around until i realized i had my contact list to do. and i was feeling super sleepy already (first time i woke up in 2 months and the sky is still dark and i had to be in school by 6.15). yeah, so i did my contact list. happily typing them out. then, horror. trouble. shitty. yucky. i forgot to save the list. i'm like FUCK! we need it by tomorrow. *vulgarities* but i still managed to do another one and although all the numbers look like a string of weirdies, i only make 1 mistake. prove that my math is still not that bad. or should i say, improving. hahahahaha. getting better with numbers. *ego*

YAY! we have finally changed back to arts econs lecture group. finally lesser graphs and more examples. hopefully, that is sufficient to pull up my econs grades. bleh.

just a song before i go. LIZ, i still want to go to the concert if i can

Franz Ferdinand -I am Your Villian

You toss in a word
I'm your villain
I see the passion emerged
I'm your villain
But serious
You're so serious
Like a waiter
Hating the rich
But taking their tips

If I could laugh, I'd love you
If I could smile at anything you said
We could be laughing lovers I
think you prefer to be miserable instead
If I could love, I'd love you
If I could love like anybody else

I know what I am
I'm your villain
I don't give a damn
I'm your villain
Because serious
You're so serious
But I got ready salted
Ready on your belly
If you wanna have fun

See you later

24 Things to Always remember

2006-01-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot ... goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasure are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have hearth and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a start.

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET ...
FOR EVEN A DAY
HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

nice way to welcome 2006 buddy to my blog =)

So what have i exactly done in 2005????

2005-12-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

Actually, I'm not humiliated to say that 2005 had been a life-time experience, a life-time learning for me. I doubt i'd get to do what i've done again in the near future.

Think i'll start with school as the broad idea because it will definitely link to my goals, values, friends, and eventually life as a whole.

School is such an important part of my life this year. i think i spent more time in school than i spent at home. home has reduced to a place to relax and sleep/re-charge for another school day. at first i really did not want to come to AC. lots of rumours, lots of disencouragement. but as usual, i rebelled against all odds and came back after 1st 3 months.

Well, i supposed i did alot within the year. interact. bintan ocip. interact president. charity car wash. promos. CCAAB. OGL.

now as i want to blog about the year, everything feels so misty and blur. had a chat with bonnie just now.

quote:

Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
what're you doing now?
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
blogging about my year
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
oh crap.
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
by the time i finish it will be the last day of 2005
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
seriously?
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I tried to today
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
you will definitely be in my post
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
but I seriously think I've lost it
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I'm sad
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
haha.. i just started..
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
hahah yes. Too Much For A Twenty-Six, Again?
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
haha.. nah, more like "so what have i done in 2005?"
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
I've always wondered why there was this ritual to do a self-evaluation at the end of the year
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
and there's always the same conclusion: I have been a shitty person. I promise to improve next year!
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
but then the cycle begins again...
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
yeah.. i'm trying to change that
seeyun™ tae7en.blogspot.com says:
i will praise myself
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
hahaha
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
that's good
Looks like "Hahaha!" is our new punctuation. says:
We should all love ourselves. Then the Slimming Corporations won't win!

so i suppose this gonna be a self-praise entry. personally, i feel that it's useless to think back about the things you have done in the past year and reflect upon you. such should be done once the activity is just over and the feeling is still fresh in your head.

truthfully, i don't think i've made many true friends in jc, other than the close few whom i hang out with a lot. though the relationship was 'unhealthy', i suppose we sadists enjoy each other company through the sarcasm, teasing, bullying and putting down of each other. but, thankfully i met you guys or else other than my CCA and school, life would have suck.

I'm not sure if JC is the time where you find life-time friends. i think you can find 1-2 life-time friends but definitely not a whole clique. 2 years is really too short. you can barely accomplish what you want to do to get a good cert or a few-pages long resume.

last year i look forward to start JC because i'm tiired of being a secondary school student. now, i can't wait to get over with As and move on to uni. i want to be labelled as a uni student. and i want to know what course i'll do and where will i study.

Dream bubble burst. back to reality. the next 11 months are gonna be the do it or die months. i think i really got to keep in mind what i hope to achieve by 2007. and what i have to do to turn dreams into reality. I'm really scared of what is awaiting me next year but i think the key is believe in what you can do.

i love the experiences i have this year. and the most recent, my holiday trip. it was really more than just a holiday. (you can read my archives)

i think the only regret i have this year is not working hard enough in my studies. and promos results reflect all of my crap work. how my econs are now down the drain. DAMN IT! but i like macro-economics more i supp. holiday elearning was rather interesting. it feels more real, unlike micro-economics dead and rigid and theoretical principles and graphs. *cross fingers*

So final statement: i'm pleased with 2005.

but what i hope to achieve in 2006 is so much more magnificent and life-threatening. (sounds like i'm going to war) well, As is really a huge stepping stone. although it's JUST a certificate, to me, it's an important piece of document, so important that i can sacrifice so much just to get my 4As. i think it is accomplishable if i put my brains (yes, not mind) into it.

alrite, i think my countdown today (it's 12:30) will be a quiet one. i'd like to bid my final farewell to 2005 in a peaceful manner and solemnly welcome 2006.

2005-12-29T19:13:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

while such tests you can't take them all in (like duh) it does have some truth in it.

Finally! after missing in action for some time

2005-12-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

i had a few posts that are half-written and saved in my dashboard. but yeah, everything when i was blogging, something has to crop up and i have to pry myself away from the computer and leave my poor entry dangling in mid-air. and when i re-read them, it always feel inappropriate or out-dated to post them, thus, my entry has always been stuck on the two random tests i took few days ago.

I'm finally getting the feel of what life gonna be like a few days time. 6 days time to be exact. went to sch till about 6 these two days and rush. hectic. logistics. planning. cheering. dancing. socializing.

i enjoyed myself just that my poor legs are in agony. my knees are bruised from the mass dance's floorwork. the mass dances were a mega difficulty for someone with two left feet. they are so much harder than this year. ehem. but i like the music. black or white by MJ. haha. such a MJ fan.

i like my lossehelin (is that how you spell it?) K-Y-O-F-U. hehe. so offensive. but my head ogls are great people especially lydia. she's crazy.. all the cheers. ti-ti-ti-ti.. we must have irritated the other clans because we are such time-stallers. KYOFU boo. our march-in must have been the most elaborate ever. crawlers. zombies. creepy make-up. chants: ashes to ashes. dust to dust. kyofu will scare you. we must, we must.

ha. i better comment on my dear og partner. well, he's GREAT. haha. (if he's reading this). he did a lot of work and i'm relying on him lots to rah-rah the og and teach the mass dance. (self-defense) of course, i'll help. DEFINITELY i will help ok! just that he's probably will end up a better and more convincing OGL than me. yups.

alritey. i'm gonna really enjoy my last few days of 'freedom'.

2005-12-24T14:35:00.001+08:00

Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful

You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog.Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights.A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time.You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others.You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it.Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

Got to be the Worst OGL ever

2005-12-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

i am so dead! %&!#$%*

i just saw the orientation mass dances and ehem. i got to master it in say 2 days. and gen haven't gotten it right still. to put it in gen's words "it's not a genius' thing" i hope to find some truth in this statement.

i will probably be the lousiest and most bitter OGL around. Kill me! andre is such a poor kid. he has to bear with me. but hey, orientation is not just all about the dance right? right? right? although i'm not that good with steps, i can make strangers comfortable, okay? (Self-comforting)

yeah, and i still have not done my history assignment and i'm proud to say none of the hist buds have done it too. we are such slackers. ok, i aim to do it next week once i ploughed my way through the notes.

tomorrow's Christmas eve. finally! i'm hooked on "last christmas". hear so many versions of it. beatles, savage garden and the lastest is jimmy eat world. my favourite catchy christmas song this year. probably be going for a family fren's christmas party.

hmm, i've been googling a lot of weird stuff. google is a trustworthy search engine. love it. life without google sucks.
google: would you like me to be your spokesperson? (big bucks please)

The Personality Defect Test

2005-12-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

Schoolyard Bully

You are 28% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.

You are the Schoolyard Bully! You focus more on feelings than rationality, and thus tend to be driven by your emotions. You are probably easy to anger or annoy, for instance. You are also an extrovert who wouldn't mind having a lot of attention, although you may not always get it. Another character trait you possess is your brutality, manifested by the fact that you tend to be aggressive and do not care about the well-being of others. Also, you exhibit signs of humility, leading one to conlude that you are actually insecure, because very few people are truly humble AND brutal. Thus, like any schoolyard bully, you seek constant attention for yourself and have no issues with administering beatings because you are quite emotional and easy to upset. Not only that, but your insecurity may be a prime motivation for your brutality. As psychologists have noted, most schoolyard bullies only pick on others because they have a negative self-image. This could possibly be true of you. In short, your personality defects are your brutality, extroversion, irrationality, and your possible insecurity. Go pick on someone your own size!

To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506

how comforting to find out about this. haha. in denial. (protest! not true!)

Poison

2005-12-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

They called me fire, a dangerous flame to fool with.
They said I was evil, twisted creation of a vile mind
They branded me a failure, for what I failed to do
They called me worthless, a spineless weakling

I was all that, and more
I was poison, I hurt all I touched
Tainted and smeared, shade of the past
Poison corrupts...don't you know?

I felt the first searing touch of flame in a dream
Horrors beyond imagination lurked in the abyss of my mind
Endless howling shrieks echo despairingly at the edges of my awareness
And laughter, mocking and taunting, hissing at me

I felt the first icy touch of frost in the dark
Brittle and cold, a rude shock to my sensibilities
So fragile, yet so harsh
And the eternal winter descended, encasing me in a loveless embrace

I tasted the bitterness of hate and pain, of regret and fear
How it consumed me in the very vileness of it!
And yet I willingly thirst for more
Eager it seems, to drown in sin of the darkest kind

I fled from the light, right into the bowels of darkness
I was afeared, for Light was hypocritical
But Dark, in its unchanging solitude, changed not
Perhaps I was just a coward, afraid of change

All I had even known, since my descend into the darkness
Was the cleansing flame of Pain
The bitter cold that was Regret
And the fleeting shadows that was Fear

But perhaps, greatest of all was Hate
The perfect solitude that it personified
The utter emptiness it possessed at its best
Hate was the Poison that coursed through my very veins

I am Poison, and always will be
Touch me not, lest ye be burnt
Keep away, lest ye be struck down by the deadly plague
I am Poison … and thou wouldst do well to know that